Speaking of dumb dogs...

So this morning, I let Oliver out to potty. I stay in the covered porch while he roams around.

Today he ran up and down the fence with the dog next door for a couple minutes.

He usually does this.

But since there's snow on the ground, he wasn't thinking ahead.

See, Oliver has very sensitive paws. He can only take being in the snow for a few minutes before he can no longer stand up.

Because my dog is a wimp.

So because he hadn't pottied yet but instead chose to play with the dog next door, I knew what was coming.

And I thought it might be a lesson for him to learn.

So after a couple minutes of playing, he ran to the END OF THE SNOWY YARD, probably a good 50 feet away, to potty.

I have a long yard.

Now, he could have gone 5 feet and pottied by the house.

Oh no. Not my Oliver.

He got to the fence, went potty, and then that's when it happened.

First his front left paw came up, and started to twist in the air like it was spazzing out and he had no control over it.

I started to call him back in, knowing what was about to happen. He still had three good paws...he could make it.

Well, maybe not.

His left back paw did the same thing, mimicking the movements of the right front paw.

So what we have here, folks, is a dog with both paws on one side of his body writhing in the air because the snow is like FIRE and it HURTS and he can't put them down.

What do you think happened next?

Yup. He fell over into the snow.

He wasn't going to even try and make it back to the house.

He laid there like he was an invalid.

So I walked out to the END OF THE YARD, picked his wimpy little carcass up and carried him back into the house.

As soon as I placed him on the kitchen floor proceeded to dance around as if he deserved a treaty treat.

Um, no, I said. Only brave dogs get treats. Wimpy dogs get laughed at.

Now, mind you, Oliver IS a smart boy.

He knows the names of his many toys - if I tell him to go and get Bear, he fetches the rabbit. If I tell him to get Ducky, he gets the duck.

He knows commands like Sleepytime, Outside, Car, Ice Cream Cone, Bath, Up, Down, Sit, Speak, Lay Down, Beg, High Five, Shake, Get Down, Kisses, Water, Food and Treat.

But the dog doesn't do well with time or distance when it comes to snow.

Smart in some way, challenged in others.

Like most of the people I know, myself included.