What I'm listening to at work today

Stuck at work on the day after Thanksgiving, so I'm playing DJ.

Here are a few of the tracks rotating on my turntable:

Turkey Trot

We dodged the rain, but not the cold. Brr.

It was a fun morning - Ash kicked ass, as did Todd and Ann. I did okay - it was cool to freeze my ass off with friends and family. A really nice way to kick off the holiday.

Celebratory banana.....


Cousins Ann and Todd pre-race


Me & Ashley post-race (I'm looking a bit haggard, def need a haircut...)


Crazy Ash!


Ann & Todd post-race

BK parody

Just peed my pants.

"Would you like an apple pie with that?"

Spanksgiving

It's starting out to be a bit of a crap holiday. And the day needs to get spanked.

My car wouldn't start this morning. I've poured so much $$ into it lately I'm beginning to think a new car is the best route to take. It's becoming a money pit. SO my car is on the way to Dobbs via tow, and my fingers are crossed for a cheap diagnosis, perhaps in the way of a dead battery or a fuse. I don't want to hear words like "starter" or "alternator" or "transmission".

Also, family, friends and I are scheduled to run in the Turkey Trot tomorrow, but the weather is calling for a "wintry mix". WTF.

AND I didn't get my second batch of gooeys made last night because I got too busy. So that it what I will be doing after work today.

In a word....argh.

BTW, the photo is of a half-eaten gooey.

Beginnings and endings

My friend Cheryl died early this morning. And my friends Maggie and Keyvan get married this afternoon.

I've known Cheryl for about a year. She's a very feisty, energetic and warm woman - a rare combination. She's a circler - she rounds people up, and people can't help but surround her.

I didn't see it coming, since I saw her two weeks ago and she was nothing but energy, smiles and laughter. I got to meet her son for the first time, he was in from Chicago to attend a doctors appt. at Siteman with her. We had lunch, and it was really fun.

Then last week she went into the hospital with pneumonia. And now she's gone.

And I'm trying to get ready for what's going to be a fantastic wedding, and am trying hard to think of the positive. Trying but not really succeeding.

Nuptials and naughtiness

Tonight - bachelorette party for Mary. Starting out at the Stable, then moving on to...well...where all good girls go for their bachelorette fun. B&B! Got my dollars at the ready for stuffin'. :-)

Side note - I remember back when I was a young girl in my 20's and "Nature Boy" was the stripper du jour that primed the pump for many a bachelorette's entertainment. After many years of trying to swing from that vine, my friend was dumbfounded to discover he was gay. She tried hard, though.

Tomorrow - early run, afternoon fun, then my good friends Maggie and Keyvan get married. Following, if the stars align, it's off to the Pageant for Wolf Parade (playing this one by ear, not sure how late the wedding festivities will go, they start at 5:00)

Sunday - not too funday. I've got to finish my last term paper, my final take-home final, and a buttload of case notes before Monday's turn-in deadline. However, I will be heading over to Kayak's in the late afternoon with my work in-hand so that I can have Nic make me some frothy goodness to alleviate the pain and keep me going into the night (should it take that long).

Movie Review

Predators



Now, I'm no sci-fi geek. I did watch Red Dwarf and Dr. Who in college, and tried to watch the new Dr. Who when hottie Christopher Eccleston played the lead a few years ago, but I it didn't hold a candle to my hanging-out-in-Nichols days. (reference for my college friends)

However, I was in the mood for some ass kicking, since I have been so lax at it lately in real life.

It delivered.

I was surprised by how, umm how shall I say it, ROCKIN Adrian's body is! I have always had a soft spot for tall, geeky guys with surreptitious schnozzles, and he has fit the bill.

He fits the bill even more now...ooh, the muscles on that boy made me a happy girl for an hour and a half...well, maybe longer actually.

;-)

The plot was decent. The players were a good collection of misfit, strong-arm, misguided and guilt-ridden. Adrian Brody brooded.

Naturally, they are picked off one-by-one. But the first one to go...I didn't expect that.

It's one of the better sci-fi pics up for grabs this year.

I say, give it a shot.

Modesto fiesta

Got together with some gal pals tonight to celebrate many things - upcoming wedding, impending graduation, potential job opportunities and having such good friends!


Me and Nic


Me and Leah

I cried in my soup last night

I did. It was pathetic.

My pity party continues. And I'd really like to get off this broke-down, maudlin bus of sorrow and get back to feeling fine and happy.

I'm pretty sure where these emotions are coming from, but I'm about sick of feeling so down-in-the-dumps, especially with all of the good things going on in my life, and in the lives of my friends and family.

Yeah, I've got one marriage under my belt, so it's not like I'm some wizened, old spinster who has a predilection for cats, rosewater and wearing black.

And yeah, I've been engaged since my divorce, so it's not like there wasn't an opportunity. It just wasn't the right one.

But now I REALLY feel like I'm lagging.

Not only is Prince William getting married, but now I find out Jessica Simpson is too.

;-)

I kid, I kid.

But with two of my best friends heading down the aisle soon, and two coworkers recently engaged and another recently married, it seems that the universe is pointing a finger at me & laughing.

I think my issue is too much transition. I'm very good with transitions - I'm super resilient, I bounce back quickly, I motor on.

But with school coming to an end, the debate about going on for a PhD, and all of the changes in my social circle, it a little much.

Oh, and I haven't had a real vacation in over a year. THAT is looming oh-so-largely.

Running, spinning and swimming are helping, for sure. But I need more.

What it comes down to is, I need a break. A real break. A fun break.

I need to celebrate my accomplishment. I need me time.

I need Europe. Or some slope action. Or big tree time.

And so I'll plan...

Unfriend? Just hide...

So there's all this talk of "unfriending" on Facebook - reasons to, Jimmy Kimmel declaring an Unfriend Day.

I used to think it was okay to defriend.

But save for a couple "no duh" reason for unfriending (parents, ex's), why would you?

I've hidden those who are Farmville addicts, invite me to EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN, and are Debbie Downers, but from time to time I might check in with them to see what's up.

For the most part, the people who are my Facebook Friends are former & current colleagues, old high school and college friends, classmates, current friends, and professional contacts. I've reconnected with a few people who've been beneficial to my personal growth (I'm talking about you, Syd!). All in all, the people I don't have much, if at all, interaction with aren't doing anything negative by being in my friend list. So I leave them there.

No harm, no foul.

I don't have time to unfriend. I have better and more positive things to do with my time.

And that's my $.02.

Mental health

I am in need of a vacation.

It doesn't have to be a long one.

Just a weekend away. Somewhere.

Or maybe I just need a spa day.

I get like this during the final "push" of a long and lengthy project.

I graduate in three weeks, and finish meeting with individual students tomorrow, so this is my last big push weekend.

I've looked into tix to Seattle, which is a sort of haven to me.

Soonest I could go would be in a few weeks.

Not soon enough, but it'll have to do.

On my toes

My pal Ashley and I have decided, after much, MUCH thought, to join the Team in Training for the GO! St Louis 1/2 Marathon to raise $$ for the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society. We have our first training run this Saturday, which is the same day as the Girls On The Run event.

Bummer. We can't very well do a training run at 7:00 a.m. and then turn around and do a 5k at 9:00. So, we opted out on the race and are doing the training. It will be fun to meet the group and get some mileage in.

We were at CC Park a couple weeks ago, it's such a nice path. I like FP also, but CC seems more scenic.

Lots of runs coming up:

Turkey Trot 11/25
Frostbite Series 12/11
Reindeer Run 12/18
Frostbite Series 12/26

Gimme five....finger shoes

These may be my new shoes. Five Fingers Bikila from Vibram.

Kinda weird. The soles aren't too thick, so you do feel pretty much everything beneath your feet, but it's not hurtful.

When you run, though....it's kind of freeing. And dangerous, in a way, because you don't have all of this material "protecting" you.

I haven't pulled the purchase trigger yet. Still thinking about it.

Cheaters

Some student reactions to the cheating scandal at UCF makes me worried for the direction this country is headed in.

Sure, cheating happens. Sometimes individually, sometimes en mass. But on this scale, and by seniors in the business program, well, really?

I think it's more than just a question of morality. It's a question of intelligence.

If you're a senior, and you don't think you can pass the midterm on your INTELLIGENCE ALONE, perhaps you should rethink your path.

I just took the most difficult exit exam of my life. It was truly hurtful to my brain. But if there had been a way to cheat, I wouldn't have done it. Why? Because the results will tell me whether or not I'm ready to go out there and apply what I've learned. And that is something I want to know.

I passed. And felt damn good that I did, on my merit & knowledge alone.

An exam is to test your knowledge, not to test your prowess for screwing with the system.

One student called it a witch hunt. He stated that he'd cheated before, it happens, and it will always happen. I wonder if the administration, upon seeing his interview, may offer him the chance to take an ethics class or face expulsion. He's obviously proved to be an idiot for admitting to cheating on a national stage.

Yup. This country is in trouble....

How to speak like Michael Caine

Yes, I'm on fire today. Too much, but I worked over my lunch hour and don't smoke, so this 1.5 minute blog post will suffice as a mini-break.

I love the BBC.

And I love Michael Caine.

And I like Steve Coogan.

And I dig when people can do spot-on voice impressions, especially with an accent.

See below.

Getting Back to my Roots

Now that I am ALMOST finished with my newest degree, I am slowly but surely making room in my life for the things I love to do but had to put on hold.

Things like:

- Writing: blogging, my book, short stories, dating horror.

- Music: perusing industry mags and iTunes for new tunes, playing my guitars, piano.

- Nature: I feel a weekend road trip coming on. A long hike in Castlewood, Busch Wildlife or Lone Elk is fast approaching, I can feel it.

- Photography: My latest zoom lens is beckoning. I hear it every night as I close my eyes. Soon...very soon.

- Art: my pastels need a hand holding. My acrylics need mixing. My oils cry out to be dipped, swooped and tendered.

- Biking: spinning, to be exact. Two months to the certification, and I am behind.

- Reading: I've got a list of tomes I'd like to tackle, just need to prioritize and purchase.

The beast is breaking the bank...

Dropping another 1.5k on KBGB today. For those of you new to this site, that stands for Kristin's Big Green Beast, or my SUV.

That makes this years total close to 4k.

Ouchy.

However, I've not had to drop any big dime on it in the 5 years I've had it, until recently. So, I figure it's par for the course.

Externally and internally it's a sound machine. It just needs some routine sprucing, but it all happened to come down at once.

Sigh. Painful to part with that kind of green, but it has to be done.

I enjoy not having a car payment. And I like having an auto that I can take down the backtrails for camping, kayaking, etc.

So I will keep putting money into my beast until it roars no more.

Testicles...get your hot testicles...

Oh holy hell.

Just another technological warning to heed.

Apparently, men who balance their laptops on their laps are in danger of cooking their testicles, thus reducing sperm count.

Is it just another way that computers are slowly killing off the human race, in their secret plan to take over the universe?

Probably.

This story explains in detail how the cajones are prone to overheating.

Boys, cover up your precious frank and beans, and put that laptop on a desk where it belongs. More power to procreation!

Ani time

Rediscovered my Ani as I was destressing and deflating on Monday night.

Had forgotten how completely relevant and powerful her music is, and how it makes me feel.

She was a main staple during my college years. A good friend is never forgotten - but sometimes misplaced.

Welcome back, Ani.

Ivan & Alyosha

Good stuff, brought to you by my musical go-to, Jeff:

It Must Be Something In The Water...

Two of my best friends are getting married - both were quick decisions, and quickly planned. Not shotgun situations - they just knew, and wanted it to happen now. I think that's fabulous.

Also, three of my coworkers have announced that they're getting married.

Having been down that road before, I know how exciting it can be to plan. My ex and I eloped, which worked for us because we were so young, so poor, and so crazy.

So it would seem that love is in the air. Hoping some of that rubs off on me.

The love part, not the marriage part.

I do want to get married again, someday. And I do want to have a family.

But when it seems that everyone you know is headed down the aisle, whether it's their first or second time around, it leaves me feeling a little behind.

Didn't think I'd ever hear the clock. But it's ticking. Faintly, but it's there.

It

I need a nap

This pretty much sums up how I'm feeling today...

An owners manual of yourself

Last night was a doozy.

I know myself pretty well. I'm usually even-keeled during stressful times. Like these last two semesters - while I've had fleeting moments of insanity due to having no real time for myself, I never broke down.

Last week was the first week I didn't have to haul ass over to Belleville every single day - it went down from six days a week to two. Life got considerably better. I was still busy, but it was logistically more on my terms.

So after having a logistically lovely week, I bottomed out last night.

This happens to me. When the stressful time is over, that's when it hits me. And it hits hard. Knocks me off my feet.

Here are three very telling examples of how stress manifests later for me, both physically and emotionally:

1. The end of my marriage was tumultuous, but I was physically fine until I decided to go home by myself for Christmas to get away. As soon as I was safely within the confines of my family and the trigger was removed, I had terrible heartburn, an upset stomach, and headaches. I also sat through the Christmas Day premier of "Titanic" and bawled my fool head off for almost 4 hours. When I returned to my sucky marriage, those symptoms went away. I was knee-deep back in stress.

2. After the last few months of my very difficult marriage, I decided divorce was the answer (after counseling, soul searching, etc.). The week after the decision was made and the stress lifted, I broke out into hives. Those lasted for about a week, coming and going.

3. I was engaged, and there were problems in the relationship (not mine). I moved out and got my own place. As soon as I did so, I got hives pretty much every day for three months. And all over - my lips, face, hands, arms. My employees thought I had an allergy to life. I ended up seeing an allergist, who couldn't find anything that would produce hives like this. Eventually they went away, but they were the direct result from former stress.

So last night I didn't see any physical manifestations of my stress, but the emotional ones were there. I felt the mood overtake me at the end of the workday. Hopelessness. Frustration. Sadness. An overall feeling of "how will I ever dig myself out?".

I went to the group that I run at school, which is called WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan). It's like an owners manual of yourself. Last night the topic was Triggers - specifically, what things trigger you (make you mad, bother you), how to cope, and how to avoid the triggers altogether. Things like messiness, gossipy people, traffic, agreeing to do too much, etc.

Along with the class I wrote out all my triggers, recognizing many. Then wrote about how to cope and avoid. This helped me to recognize what was going on with me now, and what I needed to do.

I ended up calling a very old, dear friend on the way home from group for support and was infused with love. That helped a lot. He also gave me some suggestions on how to get through the tasks I needed to complete before heading to bed (all part of my triggers). So I busted through my list, and by 10:00 was happily seated on the couch, watching a show I'd recorded earlier. Heaven.

During times like that, it can be difficult to see beyond the feelings and formulate a plan. With the help of WRAP I made a plan, executed it, and moved beyond the feelings.

I feel great today. I'm five weeks away from graduating with my M.A. in Professional Counseling, at which time I'll be a therapist. I've learned a lot over the last two years, and feel that I'm in a much better place than ever before. And I have met someone who seems to be the real deal. He's intelligent, kind, has great energy, is emotionally available and is a good communicator. A few more dates should give me some additional insight as to whether I want to keep going.

We shall see. :-)

Supa Dupa Weekend

Jeff, Ethan, Mom

GREAT weekend.

Friday night was supposed to start at Riddles, but it was closed for two weeks. ???

So we walked down to Ginger Bistro, this new chinese restaurant where the old Blockbuster used to be.

In a word, delish.

I ordered the Spicy Coconut Curry Chicken, my date got the Basil Chicken. And here's where it got weird. And nice.

Our dinners come out, both in these ceramic pots. Interesting. I take the lid off of mine, and am looking at what I think is beef stew. It smells terrific, but I am trying to stay away from red meat, so hail the waitress and ask her what the dealio is.

She said it didn't look like chicken, apologized profusely, and took it back with a promise of the right dish in five minutes. No big deal, I assured her, it was cool.

About a minute goes by, and the waitress is back with the same dish.

Turns out, it's authentically prepared, sauteed for a long time in traditional curry (brown), and it's actually the right dish.

Okay, fine. No worries. I proceed to eat it, and it was damn good.

Then the owner comes over, this 60-something Asian lady who introduces herself as Jennifer and starts to tell the story of how the dish came to be. It was an interesting story (I'll save you the deets).

She came back to the table a couple times during dinner to check, chat a bit, and ask if we needed anything. The attention was very sweet, as was she.

They gave us two free desserts for the mixup, and ended up taking my dish off of the final bill.

Outstanding.

So I simply must recommend this restaurant. It was a tasty, quick, affordable and personable experience.

Afterwards went to the Market Pub, which was kinda gross. I don't recommend that place.

Saturday I ran in CC Park with Ash, then had a yummy quiche brunch at my mom's house, then got ready for Cin's Halloween party. I had no clue what I was going to be, so I teased my hair, drew on a fake mole, broke out the hooker lipstick, threw on my biker jacket and called myself Stephanie from Grease 2. It was a hoot.



Sunday I met with a client bright and early, then ran a million errands, took a much-needed nap, and headed out to Lake St. Louis for my cousin's Halloween extravaganza. I had a lot of baby time - Ethan is getting so big, he's just so fun to watch. A very good-natured baby, always looking at the pretty colors and in constant, twitchy motion. And a little spit-upy.