Riddle's and Rocky

Training has been moved up. Starts tomorrow.

Creve Coeur Park at 7:30. Should be nice and chilly, and hopefully not many people out.

Tonight is Riddle's and possibly the midnight showing of Rocky Horror.

That was the first movie I saw in St. Louis, at the pre-renovated Tivoli when the Loop was a bit dicey.

I was frustrated during the show because people kept shouting and throwing things like toast, distracting me from the movie.

Ha ha.

Wow, you're a big one, aren't you??

I want this table. It mirrors everything that's happening with your phone.

I would make the table tilt so I could watch movie previews, scrabble, and Frogger.

Spooktastic

Anyone who knows me can attest to my love of all things spooky.

I have a story to tell about a real-life ghostly encounter that took place about a year ago.

Before I begin, I'd like to emphasize that what I'm about to write is true. I'm not making anything up. I don't wish for spooky things to happen to me. I really only like to watch them portrayed in movies. I rarely watch Ghosthunters, 'cause that stuff is just TOO damn scary.

Here goes...

I was living in a loft, a very old building on the north/west edge of downtown St. Louis. Word is, it used to be an artist colony back in the 80's, before that it was offices, and before that it was a factory.

I lived on the 5th floor, in a spacious two-bedroom, two-bath unit. A wall of windows lined the living room/kitchen, but no natural light made it's way back into the master bedroom. When my mom came to visit, she called it "the cave". I slept really well there, probably because it was so dark and cozy. Until the following happened.

One night in the middle of November, I woke up to my bed shaking. It was really shaking, like moving back and forth, sort of a rocking, not a trembling. My dog was sitting on the bed with me, and he was having a freakout, barking and panting. I immediately thought it was an earthquake, jumped out of bed and ran to the front door, which is just outside my bedroom door. On my way, I happened to look back at my bed, and it was still shaking.

But nothing else inside the house was shaking.

??

I opened the front door and stood in the doorway to be safe, like I was taught. I noticed that no one else was up and about. And I noticed that the floor wasn't moving.

And I could still hear the bed shaking. For about 10 more seconds.

10 seconds last a lifetime when you are spooked.

Finally, the sound of the bed shaking stopped.

I went back inside, let the door shut behind me, and decided to go watch TV to see if there was indeed an earthquake.

I sat there and flipped back and forth between news stations for an hour. Nothing. No earthquake.

So what in the hell shook my bed?

I slept on the couch the next couple nights, too scared to spend the night in my bedroom, and nothing else happened. Eventually I was less spooked, so decided to move back to the bed.

For the next three nights, I woke up in the middle of the night, about the same time my bed had been shaking.

But no shaking woke me up. I'm not sure what woke me up, but each time I did, my right arm was straight up in the air. Like I was reaching for the ceiling.

???

After three nights of this, it stopped. It hasn't happened again, ever. I eventually moved out of the haunted loft, and haven't had anything spooky happen to me since.

I do believe there was something shaking my bed. And I believe that something raised my arm in the middle of the night.

Not sure if it was evil, mischievous, or a little bit of both.

But that was enough of an encounter to last me a lifetime.

Ahh

So last night.

Was going to go to Sleigh Bells, but as I have the pager for work, had to pass. Can't really listen for a pager in the midst of raw musical power.

A movie was next on the agenda...again, the pager dilemma. Movie was out.

Sitting at home, with a night off from school and nuttin' to do. The feelin-sorries kicked in.

Bernardo called. Modesto?

Hell to the yes.

Pinchos morunos. Bistec a la Cabrales. Sangria.

Turned out to be a nice night.

Hello again. Hello.

I just have to say it.

Feeling the urge to write again, and having the time, is an incredible fucking feeling.

Yup. I'm back. I'm so fucking back.

Swearing a lot - I know. But I feel it gives this post just the right kind of emphasis, better than exclamation points could. Plus I've watched a few Colin Ferrell movies as of late...he's the ultimate swearing Irishman, must have rubbed off on me.

I haven't felt this good in a long time. Tanks veery mooch.

I Passed!

Just got word from the Dean of Counseling that I passed my exit exam. Which means I get to graduate in 6 weeks.

I am surprised. Not because I didn't think I did well. I felt confident about most of the sections on the test.

But there was this one section. Uffta...it was a doozy. Really, I didn't think I passed that section. I'm not being modest here. I was seriously boondoggled, and bummed out.

But, apparently I DO know my stuff. And for that knowledge, I am thankful.

Last week, I was told by a client that I helped save her marriage and her family. I was blown away. Almost cried.

Hearing that made me very happy for her, and also for me, but I stressed that this was her success. She did a lot of the work, outside of our sessions, which was very uncomfortable for her. But she stayed the course and the breakthroughs came, as did the mending in her personal life. Hurrah for her!

As a therapist (in-training), it's important to make sure the client knows that any successes they have with their processing are, by and large, owned by them. If they don't do the work, it doesn't get done. I can only do so much.

Another thing that's fantastic about my internship is that I learn a lot about myself, and have found ways to work through some of my own issues in dealing with clients'.

One client was going through something very similar to what I was, and the "tough love" approach helped her to work through it. I decided to turn it around and use it on myself. And it worked. As painful as it was, holding up that metaphorical mirror and really seeing the issue is a great way to get past it.

And sometimes when that mirror isn't giving you what you need, all may come down to a few simple questions:

1. Am I worth more than this?

2. Would I stand for someone doing this to a person I love?

3. Do I have the ability to rise above and not put up with any more of this bs?

If the answers are yes/no/absolutely, then you're doing well. They were my answers this weekend. So hell yeah...I'm doing well.

Loving life right now. LOVIN IT!

Getting ready to do the Snoopy happy dance. I've got lots to dance about. :-)

A predilection for spontaneity

What makes a date great?

- A demand for the perfect Guinness pour.

- Witty banter.

- Agreeing to follow a very seasoned karaoke regular with a rousing rendition of "Love Is A Battlefield" by Pat Benetar.

- Late night walk in South Grand neighborhood.

- Honest disclosure.

- Subtlety and persistence.

- Warm hands, warm heart.

I Want These Socks

Already a great week. I feel like my life is mine again, like I can BREATHE. Seriously, having most of my clients finished with counseling is such the load off.

So now it's ME time. Long overdue.

Switched up my schedule a bit. This semester, I usually headed to the gym after class/interning, which left me getting home around 11:00 pm feeling all sorts of sweaty and amped up. Not good for the few and far between ZZZZ's. Workouts will now be at the wee hour of 5:00 am. Which I prefer. I'm a morning person, through and through. Well, except for Sunday Fundays. Sleepytime...

I started training for my Spinning certification, which happens on January 8th. Then I can start teaching downstairs at work. Holla.


I'll be joining the Fleet Feet sunset runs on Thursday evenings (after Thanksgiving), getting ready for the Go half-marathon training.

Coffee at MoKaBe's tonight after group. Good convo, good chai to be had in abundance.

Fleet-Feet info meeting on Thursday, followed by Sleigh Bells.

Friday night - TBD.

Saturday night, C's Halloween party. Costume will be revealed post-fest.

10 more weeks in the year. Big changes ahead. All good stuff.

AND, my New Year's resolutions start tomorrow. Why now, you may ask? Apropos of certain situations and miscreants, there's no reason to wait.

Rolling off. Moving on.

Here are some musical selections I've been enjoying as of late:

Cymbals Eat Guitars


Joy Formidable


Warpaint


Sezen Aksu

Fans, friends, fickle, fun

What started out to be a great day took a very weird turn, and then did a 180 and ended on very good note...musical to be exact.

I got a prescription filled yesterday and, through some mixup (pharmacy or doc, they are pointing fingers at the moment), it was for a much higher dosage than what's normal. This left me feeling very ill for the better part of the afternoon. Will teach me to read the bottle prior to partaking.

After rallying later on in the day, I got together with my friend Jarrett, who is one of the first friends I made at the university 20 years ago (yup, I am that old) and we took in Japandroids at OB. He is a wealth of musical knowledge, so attending any rock concert with him is a veritable history lesson in all things rock. He compared last night's Japandroids to many bands I'd not even heard of, but then I also clued him into Starmarket, so I feel I did contribute to the conversation some.

We didn't stick around for the Walkmen, as neither of us are huge fans. Got home early, was awakened by some rather scandalous drunk/bored texting (have yet to confirm which) just past the midnight hour, and got up early to run my mood out at my favorite gym. Even got my favorite treadmill - score.

Got my good friend to sign up for the Girls on the Run event in FP on 11/13. One of my best friends is getting married that afternoon, so it will be a crazy day. Pack it in...that's how I roll.

This weekend looks to be interesting. Pueblo Solis on Friday, last big push with my internship & the Mizzou game on Saturday, Sunday is recovery and family time.

Life continues to surprise, disappoint, and thrill (as do people). Lessons are learned on a daily basis. Doing my best to keep it all in perspective.

Super powers...

So in a previous post I mentioned super powers, which got me thinking...

Were I granted unlimited super powers, I would:

-invent a machine that would take me back in time and allow me to make changes that would positively affect my future, but no one else's. On the short list would be: turn down the two marriage proposals I received & accepted, trained harder in track, tried harder with some, tried less with others.

-take specific qualities, beliefs & attributes (physical, emotional, mental) from certain people I know and roll them like a delicious batch of cookie dough into one very compatible person. I would then proceed to marry this very compatible person and make a bunch of very compatible little people with him. And I would always have two tickets to the gun show. ;-)

-erase inequality, abolish racism, and allow gay marriage

-make cheese, mayo, and anything deep-fried healthy.

-create a job that allowed me to travel as much as I wanted and report back on the fun things I did, the delicious things I ate and the rad people I made friends with.

-populate St. Louis with Taco John's stores so I could get my fill of Potato Ole's and Taco Burgers whenever I flipping feel like it. And it would all be healthy and fat-free.

-fly invisible about the Earth and spy on the evildoings of governments that are out to do harm to others (I guess this might include the U.S. as well), sell my secrets to the other governments which would eradicate death/destruction/war, and then donate the money to my favorite charities (Stray Rescue, ARF, HS, APA, American Lung Association, WWF). Win, win.

-Bring Jimmy Stewart back to life and make him fall in love with me so I could finally say with certainty "It's A Wonderful Life".

Boob apron parody

My friend HLD posted this to her rad blog, and I had to steal it and repost.

I love this.

Office boner killer. Classic.

Top 10 Reasons I LURVE October

10. Baseball is OVAH - yes, I'm well known for disliking baseball. I enjoy going to a game when it's cool out, getting a tall brew and shooting the shit with friends. But as for the game, well, I could care less. BO-Ring.

9. Cooler weather - I am at my best during this time of year. The smell of wet leaves, the chill in the air, damp mornings and evenings on the back porch. I dig it. I really do.

8. Football - specifically, college. Go Bison, go Tigers, go Jayhawks. Nuff said.

7. Oktoberfest - I love a month that is dedicated to celebrating beer. My favorite at the moment would be Lips Of Faith Dunkelweiss by New Belgium from Ft. Collins.

6. Halloween - everything about this holiday makes me smile. The candy. The costumes. The decorations. My family has a long-standing tradition (this marks our 20th anniversary) where we get together, deep fry everything (fries, shrimp, etc.), hand out candy, watch scary movies and play cards. It's a blast, and I look forward to it every year.

5. Wineries - I love me a little long-stemmed culture on a hillside with my homeys.

4. Foliage - Missouri has phenomenal changing of the leaves. The colors are unlike anything I've ever seen. I guess growing up in North Dakota, where there are 4 trees and you have maybe 21 minutes between summer and winter will do that to a girl.

3. NBA - I think basketball players are incredible athletes. Constant movement, multitasking, speedplay. Astounding.

2. Bad horror movies - I recently reviewed the Human Centipede. I would consider this to be a bad horror movie. Bad in a good way. Others would include Motel Hell, I Spit On Your Grave, and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre II.

1. Good horror movies - nothing beats a good horror movie this time of year. My favorites include Halloween, Devil's Rejects, The Shining, Grindhouse, The Exorcist, Inside, 20 Days of Night, Let The Right One In.

I want one

Ahh! This is creepy.

But also weirdly intriguing.

Makes me kind of want a sexually-ambiguous amoeba robot that speaks Japanese.

I might just be done

I understand most men all too well. And I say most, because there are the exceptions out there. I've met them, and sadly I've let them go. (sound of banging head against the wall)

I think what it comes down to is, just how much a woman is willing to put up with.

Ambiguity? No. Drunk texting at 1:00 in the morning? Ah, no. Calling me "baby" and "sweetie" when we've only been out once? WTF no. And let's not forget the very warm welcome followed by the less-than goodbye. Nope. Never again.

Fucking ridiculous.

And no, I'm not going to switch teams - I have friends who are lesbians, and they are just as messed up as men are. Same problems, different mechanics.

Everyone is messed up, to a point, me included. We've all got hang-ups/turn-offs/deal breakers.

So it really DOES come down to what are you willing to overlook, forgive, and accept.

I don't think I should lower my standards or expectations. Life is short. I have friends who've found their imperfect, tolerable soulmates. Mine is out there. I know it.

Guess I'll just keep looking. But in the meantime, best to close up shop for awhile and refuel. I wasted enough effort and time. Fuck it. I'd rather clean out my fridge.

Maybe I should just go to church. Or move to Denmark.

I'm out.

I need me a Ferris Bueller

That is hip-speak for a "staycation".

The first weekend in November I may have to take a Ferris - perhaps ship the Dude off to the kennel so I can get my sleeping in on.

Visit my favorite city haunts with my favorite people.

Maybe hit up the zoo. Get my seal fix.

Or venture to Cherokee for some Mudd coffee.

Perhaps even sidle up to a dark bar with a cozy fella and order up a frothy beer from the lazy barkeep.

Social time.

Me time.

Bring it.

Grover is the new Old Spice

How can you not love this?

I'm on a boat.

Movie Review

Saw The Human Centipede this weekend.

It was recommended to me as one of the "best worst horror movies of all time".

I expected it to have terrible acting, a crap plot, and of course poor production quality.

All in all, it wasn't half bad.

Sure, the premise seemed like the machinations of a nerdy 16-year old boy. It was a big gross out. However, the villain was spectacular. Completely creepy, he had the look of a Holocaust survivor and oozed skeeze. The victims were not bad. The set design was kinda cool. And the special effects (stitches, blood, etc.) were good quality.

The one thing that ran through my mind throughout the movie was, "What if they get a cold?".

If you see it, you'll understand why.

It's worth a look if you're bored and in need of some weird Danish cinema.

I need an hourglass remedy

Never in my life have I felt that time is escaping me so surreptiously. Slipping, POURING from between my fingers like sand and I'm powerless to stop it. So many clocks are ticking away - biological, mortality, the one on my iPhone.

If I could be granted any magical power at this moment, it would be to stop time. Oh, and also to go back in time.

School rules this feeling - a certain technicality of this internship is becoming the bain of my social life and sanity. It's not the therapy - I like meeting with my students. It's the damn driving to Illinois. I spend over an hour and a half every day but Friday on the road and it's beginning to piss me off. It's pissing my car off as well.

My individual counseling ends the week of 10/25, which will provide me with Wed and Thurs nights free and Sundays. However, then we'll be running group through the month of October on Monday nights and Saturday afternoons.

I only have 8 weeks left. It doesn't seem like much, but in reality it feels like forever.

As of December I will have over two weeks worth of vacation to use. I am trying to decide whether to use some of it right after I graduate or wait until sometime in the spring.

Decisions.

Rollin...

Ahhh...so damn glad it's the weekend.

I have this wicked strong craving for at least one of my favorite childhood cereals - Fruit Loops, Corn Pops or Apple Jacks. I don't see the sense in buying a box when all I will eat is one bowl, so I'm thinking of hitting up the local Hampton Inn for a free breakfast... :-)

A little teary as I didn't train enough to do the L&C half marathon. There will be others - I can always set my sights on the Go! event next April, that would give me plenty of time to prepare.

Tonight begins with noshing at Mangia, followed by culture at Mad Art, then it's off to Off-Broadway for a heavy dose of moody pop-rock by The Ponys. A good start to what's going to be a heavy-study weekend. The exit exam looooooooms.

J's off to his alma mater to watch them trounce Ohio this Saturday. I will be watching the Jayhawks game with the sound off while I study. Football is okay, but am counting down the days until B-ball season starts. Rock chalk.

Looking forward to running in the sunshine Sat & Sun mornings. Might try a new loop to Francis and Willmore parks. Long but good run.

Broke down and got the new Eminem album - good beats for running.

Not too impressed with the fall television lineup, with the exception of the Big C - clever writing, great cast. I may just forgo TV altogether once that series ends - my Tivo is bursting with what COULD be delicious fruit flavor but I can't find time to taste that rainbow.

I'll end this snoozer of a blog post with a list of films I want to see:

-Get Low
-Mao's Last Dancer
-The Town
-The Social Network
-Douchebag
-Case 39 (spooky)
-Let Me In (remake of Let The Right One In)
-Inception
-Paranormal Activity
-It's Kind Of A Funny Story
-The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets Nest
-Hereafter
-Due Date (Galifinakis)