Oh Joey....

This is my guilty-pleasure show.

Joey Greco is a sad excuse for a man, and a reality-show host.

But he's so damn fun to watch as he "empathizes" with the cheatee, and gets self-righteous with the cheater.

I love the quiet time in the van as they are en-route to bust up a cheating session.

Cheating is bad.

But Cheaters is good.

Let Go, Let Flow

I do this at the end of every year.

Never fails.

I mull, whine, over-think, stew and generally complain about situations in my life that need shedding, shredding and vetting.

Then I "Make a plan".

Then I "Put it in motion".

The, I hope against hope for the best.

The thing is, most of these situations I have moderate, if not complete, control over.

So, it's really about coming to terms with doing the "right" thing for me, knowing my ego will suffer, but in the end I will be the better for it.

I'm mulling over a couple situations right now, and am, of course, struggling.

I googled for a time machine, but apparently they haven't been invented yet.

As I am no Dr. Who, the only thing I can do is...move forward.

It's time to fish or cut bait.

I'm going fishing.

Best Of 2009 - Music

In looking at the various "Best Of 2009" lists, I've come to accept I am not the hipster I thought I was - well, according to Pitchfork, Spin, Magnet, NME and Rolling Stone.

However, I am pleased to say I have at least 40% of the albums listed on the various Top 50's. Here are a few of my top picks:

The xx: The xx
- this is a phenomenal album I was very recently turned on to. I was told to "turn down the lights and turn that one up" to experience maximum aural pleasure. Try not to listen alone - this is a sexy, velvety album that demands your partial attention (the rest of your attention should be focused on the person who's with you under the covers...)

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart: The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
- this is a fun album, light and progressive with an alternative feel. It does fall into the campy Vampire Weekend sound - it could be a soundtrack to a former youth you remember fondly, would like to repeat, and are constantly trying to recapture in your near-middle-age.

Dinosaur Jr.: Farm
- how could I resist this blast-group from my university past? The fact that they're still pushing out hits when they're pushing 45 makes me happy, and gives me less pause when I daydream about being a rock star at my age.

Royksopp: Junior
- it moves me. Nuff said.

Yo La Tengo: Popular Songs
- I respect a band that's easy, and Yo La puts out in a major way. They are on tour, and I am there...soon.

Crystal Stilts: Alight of Night
- I featured a video of this dirty genius machine earlier this year - grainy and highly melodic, and am pleased to say they made a few lists. Moody garage rock - their clips remind me of a Spits show I attended in a former life - loud, messy, hopelessly perfect. Hope to catch their show soon.

The Horrors: Primary Colors
- rock, through and through, with a hint of grime and goth. Again, a must see live band.

More lists later. I'm contemplating a "Top 10 Overrated Albums Picked By Snobbish Hipster Music Mags". Stay tuned.

Movie reviews

So, I watched two films this holiday weekend that couldn't have been more different, yet both were extremely entertaining works of art (in my opinion):



The Cove
***** (five star fantastic)

I'd read up on this documentary, and expected a decent movie. It delivered, and then some.

To sum it up, the original dolphin trainer from the television show Flipper, Ric O'Barry, decided later on in life that capturing dolphins to supply theme parks was wrong, and with a small group of fellow activists waged war against fishermen in Taiji who hunt, capture, ship and slaughter dolphins for profit.

What impressed me the most was how well it told an actual story - background on Ric, the intelligence of dolphins, the oceanic community, etc. The hunt takes place in a cove on the coast of the city of Taiji, and when it's finally shown (at the end), you've spent over an hour bracing yourself for it and you feel ready because of the tremendous and thoughtful buildup throughout the movie. Not so much. It's disturbing, sad and graphic.

Overall, a well-done film and I could go on and on about but won't. I'll end with - rent it.




Coffy
**** 1/2 (four and a half star dynomite)

I got this for Christmas and watched it last night. A perfect film for unwinding.

I love Pam Grier - she wasn't half-bad as Coffy, considering the plot, dialogue and snazzy wardrobe. Oh, the wardrobe. Can a man have camel toe? The answer is, yes. This movie has it all - shotguns, dirty cops, heroin, hookers, polyester pantsuits, fro's, blue eyeshadow, weaves with strategically-placed razor blades, a pistol-packin teddy bear, and Sid Haig. Yup - that lovable fellow from Devil's Rejects.

Rent it. You're in for a treat.

No post-holiday blues here

The holiday was near perfect - the weather didn't cooperate 100%, other than that a good time was had by all.

I heard from many friends, old and new, over the break and it was great fun catching up. Spent a lot of time with my family, played games and watched movies, ate and ate, and generally experienced bliss 24/7. My marathon brunch session yesterday was decadent - over 4 hours of great dish, the verbal and consuming kind.

Getting tickets today for Yo La Tengo and the BRMC (Black Rebel Motorcycle Club). Cha cha cha!

Some new music was gifted to me over the weekend. Have yet to get to the others as I can't break away from my love of The xx. Thanks again Kenny!

Life is good.

May the Dow be with you...

Not sure how I missed this yesterday....crack me UP!

Holidaze

Spinning was a wasteland today. Only two psycholists. Guess the holiday rush is getting to some people.

Is the rush getting to me? Nope - there are a couple things I still need to purchase, and I'll get 'er done. No worries.

I love this time of year. Speed up, slow down, crazy times and people. Lots to enjoy and look forward to.

These are a few selective things I look forward to during the holiday season:

- watching "It's A Wonderful Life" a katrillion times. This year, it's a Blu Ray experience. Yeah!

- Christmas Eve noshing: my aunt puts on a warm, inviting, highly-caloric spread that begs the plates to be licked clean.

- playing multitudes of board/card games. Newest one is Scrabble Slap, which had us all in tears on Sunday night. "Wait! Wait!" (had to, Mom)

- playing the annual piano duets with my cousins on the Baby Grand.

- giftcards. Plain and simple.

- getting together with friends, new/old/constant.

- sleeping in. I now do this whenever I can. Because it's a delight I didn't rediscover until just recently (thank you, P).

- ice skating

- cookies, cookies everywhere. Whee!!!!!!

- frufru coffee. I usually don't drink coffee, but this time of year I will hit up Starbucks or Companion once a week for some holiday cheer in a cup. Chai Tea or dark roast with cream and sugar, depending on my mood.

Deathwish? Perhaps....

I'm on my way to take my mom Christmas shopping. On the Saturday before Christmas. At the mall.

When I told my friend of this daredevil feat, she quoted my favorite Last of the Mohicans line, which takes place behind the waterfall between Daniel Day-Lewis and Madeline Stowe as they hide from the Mohawks:

"No, you submit, do you hear? You be strong, you survive... You stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you. I will find you!"

I feel much better knowing that I have my own personal Hawkeye ready at the rescue.

It works

I have high expectations in certain areas of my life, and through experience, have lowered expectations in other areas to accommodate the inevitable.

This way, I am less often disappointed.

So far, so good.

Wait, no...what?

I got picked.

Case should be short - they anticipate that all witness will be heard tomorrow, and then it's up to us, the jury, as to how long we'll have to be there.

In an effort to be truthful (I took the damn oath) and get out of having to be on the jury, I did some self-disclosure that I thought would keep me from being chosen.

Alas, I am one of the 12.

This is not the kind of time away from work I like.

Civic Duty - bah humbug

I am sitting in jury selection, on the Monday of one of the busiest and fun-filled weeks of work. I am hoping my time here is quick and painless.

Sitting here for hours, having recently finished my new Joyce Carol Oates novel, has lead me to think about intersting ways to pass the time:

1. Download the Law & Order "dun dun" melody and play it from time to to so as to rouse the crowd.

2. Create finger puppets and put on an impromptu reinactment of "12 Angry Men" or "Kramer vs Kramer".

3. Write my memoirs - Plains, Trains and Crusing Main: Dakota Girl

4. Learn Gaelic so that I can order Guinness in it's native language.

5. Finish glueing the text of the ransom letter to Tiger Woods, requesting an undisclosed sum for the safe return of his dignity.

sigh.

Tiger's a Cheetah - do I care?

The rumors are flying, skirts are coming out of the clubhouse woodwork to claim he's putted on their greens, and will or won't the missus walk away with a windfall after all is said and done.

Tiger may be smart about his golf game, but not about his "game" - rather, keeping it on the down-low.

I can only imagine the ego-inflating effects of being the top player in your sport. It can make you feel invincible, untouchable, and immeasurably important. And it seems to have made Tiger this way, in lieu of his indescretions.

Indescretions - such a soft, unimposing word that really doesn't do his actions justice.

We may never know what the real story is here - how many women, where and when, for how long, and why.

What interests me about his situation is, having had the upbringing he did, and the close relationship he had with his father - what happened to his value system? Is the drive for satisfaction, whether it's physical or mental or whatever, that powerful? Did losing his father at such a young age affect his value system? Or was this type of reckless behavior ingrained from the start, and just now had cause to be explored?

My stand on cheating is this - people, in their right mind, have the ability to choose right from wrong. Sometimes they choose wrong, for whatever reason. We're only human - fallible, flawed and fucked up. However, if you recognize the wrong, and make a concerted effort to never do it again, and atone, it's doesn't excuse the behavior but makes you worthy of a second chance. That's what is so great about second chances - the opportunity to learn from mistakes and make life better, for you and the ones you love, and the outstanding feeling that comes with forgiveness.

Each situation is different - it's up to the people directly involved to work through the issue and judge whether or not the relationship is worth fighting for.

And just to be clear - I don't believe that Tiger is the moral compass for children, just because he is a sports hero. And if he is, then the parents are doing a shitty job of raising their child because they should be the purveyors of the moral compass. And if an adolescent decides that they are going to cheat on their partner because Tiger did it, they need some serious help.

So the question remains - should he be allowed to keep his endorsements? Should he remain a hero in the sport of golf? Should he be given the opportunity to save his marriage?

For me, I can separate the pro from the average joe and say that he helped me to understand the sport of golf and made it much more tolerable to watch on television. He's not my hero, but if I have to watch golf again (this obviously isn't anything I enjoy watching) I will be glad if he's on the green.

Feeling ninja-tastic

I'm excited for this coming weekend. Now that my finals are behind me, I can devote some time to catching up with friends I haven't seen for awhile, have some downtime at home, and spend time with family.

On the agenda so far is hanging with my fam, movie/dinner/party Saturday night, Sunday brunch, bike ride??, cards and conversation.

In between all of that I will be cleaning out the spare bedroom, posting items on Ebay (check), and replacing the filter in my Brita (check check).

I will also be getting a nap in there...at some point.

So as I navigate through the next day and a half, my motivation will be the freedom I'm already feeling from being done with school and having some time to devote to those people and things I love.

WOOT!!

Just finished my last final.

Let the fun begin.

Being single just got worse - for your health

So I came across this recent study in my daily news search. To break it down, loneliness makes cancer more likely and deadly.

Great. I thought I had my bases covered, for the most part.

Eating healthy? Yup

Exercising? Yessiree bob

Smoke? Nope

Imbibe? Lightly

Coupled up? Fail

I guess I should get on the ball and make some decisions. I have nothing against dating - the challenge is finding the time, giving it, and hopefully it's enough for the other person.

Balance is key - and I'm working on it.

To reiterate my former Yoda post, no try, just do.

I WILL find the time and make a decision...in the next few months (just let me get through the holidays first!).

Tis the season for strife

Got my blood pressure and blood sugar checked. Both were outstanding.

Whew. And I say whew because it's the time of year that could really affect both of those things.

Extra stress due to holidays, school, job, family, friends, etc. High blood sugar due to holiday parties, baked treats, happy hours and such.

That said, I am going to remove what stress I can from my life, which are the areas I have control over. This includes crap intake relating to food and life in general. I can only control what I do, and not the reactions from others. Moving forward in a positive and productive way is the best that I can do. All I can hope is that my actions are received as such, and no ulterior motives are suspected.

Cheer and joy to all - and best of luck navigating the season pitfalls for the next few weeks. I feel your pain.

Channeling my inner Yoda

"Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try." - Jedi master Yoda

I saw this quote recently and it really stayed with me. And yes, it's from a fictional Star Wars character, but it's deep and I like it.

When we say, "I'll try to make the party this weekend", what we really mean is, "I am still thinking about it, maybe I'll be there, maybe I won't depending on x,y and z." We don't try in the sense that we get in our car and drive, and the car breaks down.

Trying is really another word for "undecided" in most situations. Maybe what we should do is state the truth, such as "I will be at the party if I am feeling up to it that night." or "I won't be at the party because I have had a long week and need a night to myself."

Sometimes the truth, whether it's stated to someone else or to yourself, is tough to swallow. But isn't failing someone, or yourself, worse? Truth hurts, but indecisiveness floating in the ether can leave a lasting sting. Hmm - that last sentence sounded good in my head, but comes across weird in print. Whatever, it's staying.

Okay - this week, I will practice the truth of Yoda and eliminate the word "try" from my vocabulary in every form - talk, email, text, etc.

I will either commit or not commit.

The truth will be stated.

And it doesn't have to be a harsh truth - the truth can be delivered sweet, sour or bland. Sugar truth, Whiskey truth or Cafeteria truth - take your pick.

So these are my truths for the week:

- I will attend all noon Ab Labs

- I will finish my last final by Wednesday evening

- I will replace the filter in my Brita

- I will get tickets to Yo La Tengo and The Magnetic Fields

- I will clean out the spare bedroom by Sunday & start planning my Ebay sales

- I will untie and retie my kicks rather than slipping them on for better athletic performance

I think that's enough truth for this week. What's your truth?

Festivus for the rest of us

Festivus - May all your grievances be aired and your feats of strength tested this holiday season. One of my favorite Seinfeld episodes. Ever.

Shortastic weekend. Consisted mainly of working on my two finals. It is a little known fact that take-home finals are decidedly difficult. So now you know, so be warned. I'm four essays into one final with two more essays to go, then it's on to the second final. Uffta.

I did take a break from studies and went out for lunch with a friend to Cooperella, which is my new favorite cafe. Perfect smoothies and the hummus trio plate is delish. We then checked out "An Education" at the Hi-Pointe. Award-worthy? Nope. Good film? Sort of. Rental at the RedBox or Netflix? Most definitely.

I've been slowly adding more music to my iPod, and have dug out some oldies but goodies:

Lemondheads - Lick
Sugarcubes- Life's Too Good
Throwing Muses - Hunkpapa
Richard Thompson - Rumor and Sigh
Ani - Imperfectly

Takes me back to careless college times...

So I've been trying to take a certain trip for years.

It all stems from my adoration/obsession of all things Jimmy Stewart.

Yes, obsession. Clinically, most people cannot recall when their obsessions began, but can list all of the reasons why they are obsessed. This I can do, but won't bore you with the details. In short, Jimmy Stewart is the perfect man.

His hometown of Indiana, Pennsylvania has a museum with all sorts of really cool tchotchkies related to the man and his life. Jimmy would probably be slightly amused with folks purchasing the random keychains and collectors plates adorned with his lovable mug, but hey, it's a way to make a living and keep the dream alive.

The coolest thing about this museum is that it even has a movie theater that plays his films. Seriously. How cool is that, right??

It is a goal of mine to someday visit this sacred town and view "It's A Wonderful Life" during the holiday season. And walk by his childhood home, and into the hardware store his father used to own. Humble beginnings...

I probably won't make it there this year, so I'm aiming for 2010.

In any case, I've got most of his movies lined up for viewing once my semester ends which is next week. I've already seen IAWL over Thanksgiving, courtesy of my aunt Debby. Next on the list is "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington", another heartwarming tale.

That said, I'm ready for a good snowy day so that I can cuddle up and get cozy with Jimmy.

Let the obsession begin.

Distracted

I cannot concentrate on the group presentations in class tonight - my brain is fighting a conundrum. I have so much to do, I am having a difficult time finding where to begin.

Thankful

Overall, it was a good holiday. Lots of time spent with my family, relaxing, chatting, noshing – the works.

I did a little Black Friday shopping, nothing too strenuous or stressful, and got one item purchased and out of the way.

The long weekend ended on a moderately heated note, due to a conversation I wasn’t expecting and could have prevented had I been more open back in the Fall about my focus. It wasn’t an argument, but more of a fact-finding mission and clarification.

My problem? Two things – lack of time and my inability to focus on too many things at once.

It got heated for a couple reasons, the first being that it’s the one day of the month I am crabby and over-emotional, which can’t be helped. The other reason is that I had to admit I can’t fit in everything I want to in my life at the moment, but am very hopeful that the next few months will allow some definitive breathing room. Because I really do want to devote some of my time to this person, but need to feel that I have the time to spend because he deserves it (as do I) and not shift my focus from finishing school.

I’m glad it happened, as it cleared the air a bit. And now, at least for me, there is a clear direction moving forward. I’m hoping that he is clear about the direction also, and is still on board.

Happy (Black) Friday

Crimeny - I am still full from yesterday.

Can't really take a deep breath.

And that, I feel, is a testament to how incredible the food was, and not my ability to stuff my face.

Some highlights:

- mile-high apple pie

- three kinds of Jello concoctions

- green bean casserole...delish

- Stove Top...yup, I go for the boxed creation

- I lost at cards, but whistled my favorite holiday tunes throughout because I was in such a good mood. I also called my grandma a bad name because she tried to set me, but she just laughed and called me the same thing. Awesomeness.

- my brother Jeff, cousin James and I debated on goofy names for Mandy's immenent bundle of joy. So far, Trixie is in the lead. James liked Ginger, Jasmine and Daisy, which fit with Trixie as they are ALL stripper names. Clint is the frontrunner for a boy, followed by Seamus, Ulysses, and Chebbi, which is what Mandy's Tae Kwon Do master yells at her during sparing.

So, I am at work on this post-Thanksgiving day, but that's okay. I have already visited the Hybrid OR with my colleague Laura to shoot fisheye stills for an eventual 360 for our new website. I am now getting ready to organize some media for our FB and YT, and have a meeting after lunch to discuss a medical breakthroughs initiative for the website. Yup...I dig my job. A lot. Enough to be okay with working on Black Friday.

My Pandora is cranked, and I am listening to Long View - it's a good day.

Laughed so hard I cried

Explain This Image.

Go here. Now.

A few words to live by...

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was a darn good movie. Here is my favorite quote from that movie...


"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

- Benjamin Button: [Voice over; letter to his daughter]

Movie Review

So instead of seeing "New Moon" this weekend, I saw "Precious" instead.

Glad I did.

I'm not going to go into details, but the lead character has had a rough life, as many people have. There are millions of personal stories out there that are drawn by abuse, pain, and hopelessness. The story of Precious is nothing new. But what is new is the way her story is told.

Very fine performances by all involved. Having seen interviews with Gabourney Siddibe, it's pretty amazing what she did in terms of bringing the character of Precious to life. Mariah Carey dirts-down well, and her subdued performance isn't necessarily Oscar worthy, but deserves accolades.

The real stand-out, in my opinion, is Monique. She should be nominated for an Oscar. Not because the movie is being touted by Oprah and Tyler Perry, but because she embodied this monster of a mother and made you forget you were watching a comedienne.

I've heard that she's demanding more money for attending debuts and press junkets - I say go for it. This may be her only shot at this, so why not milk it for all it's worth? This film will go on to make some real money, so kudos to her for trying to get in on the take.

I saw the movie at the Esquire, which made the experience even more engaging as it was interactive. The energy from the crowd, the reactions, were tangible.

I'm often disappointed with films that come with so much hype. I got burned too many times. There are also a few films I have never seen, because I know I will be disappointed and have better things to do with my life (Amelie, The Lion King, etc.).

This film, in my opinion, doesn't live up to the hype - it transcends it.

Fail

So much for me getting back to "regular" blogging...

In my defense, I was out of town M-W, and then catching up on life Th/F, and then had family come to town this weekend.

A couple of rants:

1. Why is it some folks think that they are suddenly experts on something?. Umm, I can say I'm an expert pilot until I actually get in the cockpit and log my miles.

2. A negative response is better than silence (on the phone). Seriously, man up and at least grunt - even if you are completely in the dark about the topic, when the conversation is between two people on the phone, have the courtesy to at least say, "I'm not really familiar with that". Simple as that. You can even say, "That really doesn't interest me". Fine, point taken. Silence is ignorant. So tempted to just hang up, but I usually offer a quick "Oops, gotta go now" before dropping the line.

3. Ritalin. Adderall. Try it. You might like it.

4. Road rage. I cannot shake it. I will invest in the first drug company that is working on a pill I can take for this. I don't think I am a danger to anyone by myself, but that's enough, right?

5. Negative people who don't use their filters. We all have a filter - learn how to use it. If you can drive a car, read out loud and remember to set your alarm clock, you have the mental capacity to engage your filter.

Okay, 5 is enough. Now for some raves.

1. Gingerbread cookies this time of year make me ridiculously happy. They are like cocaine (I can only imagine, as I have never partaken in the white devil) - if I could snort them, I would.

2. Mangia. Thank you for going above and beyond, every time I walk in your door.

3. My good friend M. She understands. And that's all she needs to say to make me feel less sad/angry/confused.

4. My cousin Mandy (aka Hutmacher) is preggers. It was a surprise to all involved, especially the happy couple who were doing everything in their power to prevent such a thing. It's been 22 years since there has been a baby in the family (Mandy's sister Albo) so it's long overdue. Congrats to Mandy and Joe!

5. Rick Springfield on "Californication". He looks amazing for being 60 years young. However, he'd better think about stopping in St. Louis before the shine wears off and we realize he's really an old soft-rocker.

All for now - look for my list of crazy Christmas music in the next post (I promise I won't wait another week).

Coincidence?

I love it when things like this happen.

I picked up a book a couple weeks ago titled The Worst Hard Time. It's about the dustbowl of the 1930's. I finished reading it on the plane to Seattle today.

I just returned from dinner, and was flipping through channels to find something to lull me to sleep.

I happened upon American Experience on PBS, and guess what the episode was about?

Yup - the dustbowl of the 30's.

What was so exciting was that the documentary showed footage and referenced a few of the people who were prominently discussed in the book such as Hugh Bennet and Bam White, but it also interviewed Bam's son Melt who talked about a specific story thatvwas in the book.

What are the odds I would be reading the book and catch the doc on the same day??

Incredible. I will try to find the meaning after I get some sleep.

Too cool. Life is good.

Weekend, so far

Saw the movie 2012. There are a few more special-effects extravaganza moments that you don't see in the trailer, but not many. It's an okay story, but the only reason I really wanted to go was John Cusack. And that desire was fullfilled.

On Saturday went car shopping with my brother - I turned him on to Audi's a couple weeks back, and he bought my dream car. A4 Quattro, black/black/titanium. I got to drive it home for him - the only reason I got out of the car was because of hunger, had I not I would still be camped out in the heaven that is the front seat.

Was up at 4:30 this morning - it was probably the lingering Audi excitement from the day before. Have been doing a lot of clean-up of my in-boxes. I have four Yahoo email addresses, one is my primary, another is my primary spam addy, and the other two are back ups.

I found a few interesting emails during my clean-up. I had posted a while back how phenomenal I thought El Borracho was/is, and the owner emailed me after finding my blog post and invited me to join him in a pitcher of margaritas. Social media working as it should - love it. And love El Borracho. Will be going there soon to imbibe with BJ. How cool is that??

Found another email from a blog owner on which I had posted a comment requesting that we keep up the convo off-blog. I will be taking him up on this.

And found yet another from a long-ago friend reaching out to re-establish our lost connection. Right on - have already written back, can't wait to see where this goes.

Speaking of lost connections, I recently reached out to a couple former friends to see how they are - hoping to hear something back someday. I knew them at a time in my life when I lost my head and followed my heart down the wrong path, but I am hoping those friendships can transcend such decisions. We'll see...

Today I am packing for my Seattle trip - cannot wait. Haven't been there since 2005, and will be hitting Marrakesh on Monday and the Girls concert on Tuesday night.

Self efficacy

I’m trying to be a better communicator, in all facets of my life – relationships, friendships, family, work and blogging.

Blogging takes time. There are many times throughout the day that I think, “This would make a good post”. But then life takes over, craziness ensues, and the thought is forgotten.

Like the lesson I learned earlier this week, I think the key is to become more mindful of what’s happening IN THE MOMENT, savor it, and then make note of it if it looks to be useful in the future.

The subject of this blog is self-efficacy.

Self-efficacy is the belief that one is capable of performing in a certain manner to attain certain goals.

An example of self-efficacy pertaining to my life would be my belief that I can finish the next two semesters, because I possess the capabilities to do so well.

Another example is that I can keep waking up at 4:30 in order to get to the gym on time because I possess the capabilities, and an alarm clock (ha) to do so.

The capabilities, in these cases, would be the wherewithal, the drive, the self-motivation.

I know I have the wherewithal. I possess the drive.

So what is my motivation?

Many things – to live longer, to live better, to be happy in my personal life as well as my career.

But to break it down further, I made a list last night before I slipped into slumber. These are some of the more tangible and specific motivations that are keeping me (and hopefully will keep me) on my path:

Career
1. Master Social Media Specialist (that title is my creation - doesn't everyone want to be a master at something?)
2. Adjuct professor at Wash U and Lindenwood.
3. Run my own practice or join one that aligns with my areas of therapeutic concentration (relationship and sex therapy)
4. Research and publish

Fitness
1. Spinning certification
2. Complete a Half-Ironman
3. Finish a half-marathon
4. St. Lucia
5. A few numbers - 4, 40, 90

What's on my mind now? Preparing for my trip to Seattle - good times ahead!

Give the sack to Nickelback

I really can't stand this band.

Has to be said. I've held it in too long.

Is it just me, or when you hear a Nickelback song it sounds as if the lead singer is YELLING at you?

I bet that guy doesn't have a "talk" mode, just a "yell" mode.

I would love to see an SNL skit of the lead singer in various normal activities - in line at McDonalds singing/yelling that he wants a Big Mac, making sweet love to his lady and yelling at her, in a business meeting yelling his sales forecasts.

Plus, every damn song sounds the same.

Know what song I kinda like now? "Let Me Be Myself" by 3 Doors Down.

Why?

Because it's in the Gieco caveman commercial. Hilarious.

Perspective

It's all about keeping things in perspective.

I got taught a lesson last night in class. And I'm determined to remember this lesson when dealing with people in everyday life.

I have a professor whom I personally like very much. We are about the same age, graduated from the same school around the same time, and we have a very good rapport. However, he is very disorganized. So disorganized that it's made this class very difficult to navigate and enjoy. But I feel like he's putting forth the effort to teach as best he can - he brings note cards to class, uses PPT presentations, and his lectures are long.

So, needless to say it's been a frustrating semester. The rest of the class feels the same, and is not ashamed to roll their eyes or gripe under their breathe during class. I keep my griping to myself, but I still feel bothered, and have often thought that perhaps he needs some additional training before he tries to teach a class.

Last night, towards the end of the lecture, he started to talk about how his career path was changed which has lead him to where he is today - a professor, a counselor.

Less than two years ago his two children died in a car accident.

That explains a lot.

He is still finding his way.

He is still recovering.

And he is doing the best that he can.

And that is all most people do - the best that they can.

So was I doing the best I could to deal with my annoyance? No.

I sat there, feeling ashamed that I did was not able to see past my frustration and think about why he might be having difficulty.

And yes, perhaps he needs a bit more training before he is in charge of his own class. But maybe what he needs is a fair, honest and comprehensive review of his teaching style, so that he can improve. Any time I finish a class, I am asked to assess the professor and the course. I am always truthful, and take the time to put thought and effort into the assessment.

I will be doing the same for him.

After he told his story, he wrapped up class for the night. Only a few people thanked him for sharing, and the majority of the class bolted from the room.

I felt the need to connect with him, partly because I felt terrible for not thinking past my own frustration, but because he shared something so personal and painful and I wanted to thank him for it.

I related this situation to my aunt after class, and she said what I was thinking - this was a lesson that I can learn from and should remember.

And I will.

Weekend Update

Let's see...what did I do this weekend..

The usual.

Homework.

Presentation preparation.

The highlight was that I went car shopping with my brother - got to drive my attainable dream car, the 2010 Audi Quattro. The front seats cradle you like a glove from heaven above. I'm not kidding. It's an amazing car.

I saw Two Lovers, which stars Joaquin Phoenix and Gwyneth Paltrow, and it was okay. I'm a fan of JP, and can really watch him in anything. I believe that the last M. Night Shamalamadingdong movie, The Happening, would have been much better if it had starred JP and any other female.

I stayed up late last night and watched the Mad Men finale. Outrageous. The way Don grabbed Betsy like he was going to pound her - a bit shocking. And way to go Peggy, was nice seeing that she finally grew a pair. I will miss this show - not much else to look forward to on Sunday nights. I'll have to find an alternative - salsa dancing, perhaps. Definitely something dangerous and hot, like the show.

Burgled

Last night my building was burgled. Nope, it wasn’t the Hamburglar – that was something I would have welcomed with opened arms and mouth. It was a thief, genuine in nature due to the items now missing from my building’s lobby.

I may have seen one of the thieves. I happened upon a random gentleman last night who was acting weird, asked for a light, and then ran away. Yup, ran away. Truly weird exchange, and gave me the willies. And then I noticed the plasma TV was missing from the wall, among other things.

When I went downstairs this morning at 4:30, more items were missing and the lobby was in shambles.

I’ve always complained about how a key fob is needed to use the elevator – it’s a hassle when you’re having someone over – you have to either send the elevator down to get them, or you go down yourself. I am now very thankful that this security measure is in place. There really wasn’t a way for the burglars to reach my floor unless they had a key or rode up with someone else.

I’ve got mace. It’s always with me – but usually deep down in the bottom of my purse. I’m thinking I need to move it to a more accessible place in the event I need to actually use it.

Hometown Tragedy

In my hometown of Dickinson, ND, three student/softball players from Dickinson State University died.

Ashley Neufeld, 21, of Brandon, Man., Kyrstin Gemar, 22, of San Diego; and Afton Williamson, 20, of Lake Elsinore, Calif.

The three friends and teammates drove out to stargaze on Sunday night, and something went wrong. A friend got a call from one of the girls and it was frantic, the word "water" was mentioned before the line went dead.

There was a search, both land and air, on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday attempting to locate the missing girls. Foul play was immediately thought - these girls were strong, sensible, athletes. The authorities tracked the cell phone call to a certain tower and concentrated the search around that area.

Yesterday a helicopter spotted tire tracks leading into a stock pond.

The 1997 Jeep Cherokee was soon discovered submerged in the 10ft deep pond, with the three girls still inside, as well as one of the girl's dogs. The windows were intact, as were the doors.

Apparently stargazing is something these friends liked to do - the North Dakota sky is perfect for doing this, as there aren't any competing lights from the "big city". And, there is plenty of land and backroads on which to find a nice spot and sit to explore the night sky.

So, the big question is, what happened? How did three very strong women not attempt to break or roll down the windows of the vehicle to escape? They were of mind to call a friend twice for help, but did not attempt to save themselves beyond that? Were they overcome by the freezing temperatures, the blackness of being underwater and the fear that they didn't know how deeply submerged they were? Was the disorientation so great that they couldn't think clearly and ran out of time?

The autopsies will take a few days. Alcohol is not being ruled out, but the authorities are not speculating as to what they feel is the main cause.

This kind of tragedy is really beyond words. Sports at the university is something that keeps the student body, all 2,700 hundred of them, "glued together". So I'm sure these players were well known and well liked. And now they will be very missed and mourned.

This year, my hometown has been featured on the national news twice, once for deadly tornadoes that ripped through the south side of town, and now this. I could have done without either - and I'm sure I'm not alone in this thought.

My thoughts are with those in my hometown.

Jeez.

Not the best night of the year.

Was side-rear-ended on the way to class. Part of my bumper is Livin' On A Prayer, and the KBGB is officially a hoopty-mobile, at least until I get her fixed.

Just prior to that I was told my grandma was admitted to the hospital. She'd been fighting illness for two weeks now, and she's just not getting better. Waiting to hear what the ultrasound results are. Heart issues.

I feel very lucky to have a grandma, and a feisty one at that. Most if not all of my friends are without grandparents.

That's not a club I am prepared to belong to just yet. Or ever.

So these two events, coupled with my mom's as-of-yet undiagnosed pain, are kind of keeping me down. It's bright and sunny outside, blue skies abound, but I'm just not feeling it.

Hoping to shake the funk later tonight. I welcome any and all crossed fingers and toes. Eyes will be considered also.

Hugh Got It

I had a very vivid dream this morning. It probably only lasted for a few minutes, but I sure would like to recreate it in real life, with someone other than who was in my dream.

I dreamt that I was in the beginning of a sloooow make-out session with Hugh Grant.

We were feeling very close to each other as we had just composed a song together. Decided to take our collaboration to then next level, under flannel sheets. The intimacy level was off the charts.

Turns out he has very smooth skin. And is an outrageous kisser.

I won't go on, because to describe it in a way that would do it justice would give this post an X rating.

And yes, I know. Hugh Grant. I think the only reason I dreamt about him was because I had watched a smidgen of "Music & Lyrics" last night while flipping channels (mostly to see Drew Barrymore).

He is kinda hot.

I'd obviously do him.

Good Morning Sunshine

Outstanding day.

Took the boy out at 4:00 am, ran into some neighbors who were winding their night up and had a nice chat. Went back to bed until 9:30. Decadence.

Got up, got ready, was at TJ's by 10:30. Beat that.

Now listening to the Editor's new album, "In This Light And On This Evening" and have so far enjoyed each and every song. Takes me back to me early college years - it's all dark and 120 Minute-like. Synths and goth romance.

I've got a moderate To Do list, and will get cracking soon. A couple highlights - loading up my iPhone with playlists, a nap, some photography, P90X, and dinner courtesy of TJ.

Good times? Nope - great times.

Happy Sunday y'all.

Wax On, Wax Off

Things I miss

- the sun

- death drops and cherry bombs

- Speed Skate, Couples Skate, Limbo, and Late Skate

- cruising main

- getting called in from playing when it's dark out

- Quincy (the TV show)

- Banana seats, baskets and reflectors

- leg warmers

- my mom's cooking

- my grampa

- snow days

- book-mobiles

- sock hops

- 120 Minutes

- 1980's Saturday morning cartoons

- Night Flight

X's

X's - what can you say about them?

There are some I like, others not so much.

I like the band X.

I like some X-rated movies.

I like XXX Siglo Treinta Tequila.

Some X's show up out of the blue and when that happens, sometimes it's difficult to determine whether you are pleased, bothered, or indifferent.

An X of mine sent me an email last night, with a very nice apology attached.

Nice, right?

Well, it was, but kind of weird also. I haven't seen this X in a good, long while, and things did not go well during the break up.

I'm guessing he is going through some sort of "reach out and make amends" type of life crises, and if that's the case, I'm all for it.

I accepted the apology, but did not inquire as to how he was doing, but did wish him well.

Why didn't I invite him back into my life or open up the lines of communication?

I've concluded that there are people I've know in my life that I've known for a reason - and it's not a life-long reason. Our friendship/relationship served it's purpose, and we're better off at this point recalling the good times but not making any new ones.

There are also times in my life at which I've not been at my best, and certain people I've known during that time I cannot remain friends with, because they remind me of my shortcomings/faults/mistakes/digressions. And also, because they stood by and watched me in my chaos and didn't reach out to help or offer advice. I guess I can't really call these people friends, as a friend would help pull your head out of your ass during these times.

And I know this because I have friends who have had the distinct honor of pulling my head out of my ass.

So, X's are called that for a reason - if they could transition to a "friend" than they would be called just that.

Perfect night

I watched "It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" last night.

I have watched this movie every year since I was maybe 5 years old.

Never gets old.

I need a ghost hunter

I am a believer in ghosts. There are weird things that happen every once in awhile that I can't explain - weird noises, whispering, a shadow, my dog looking at the wall inquisitively. I get weirded out when they happen, but don't dwell on the situations.

Monday night/Tuesday morning must have been some kind of spirit uprising, because three people in my family (including me) had unexplainable things happen to them.

I woke up at 11:48 pm on Monday night to some very strange sounds. Whooshing of sorts, but they weren't from any traffic or the weather - they were in my room only. So I laid there for a minute, listening intently to these very unique sounds which only lasted for 10 seconds, and looked around for my dog. He wasn't on the bed, or even in the room. This is a very strange occurance - Oliver NEVER leaves the bedroom at night. So I called loudly for him, several times, and he didn't come to the bedroom. So I got up, and walked out to the hallway which was lit by a nightlight. The ambience in the room was perfect for a ghostly encounter.

So I stood in the hallway and called his name.

Nothing.

I went into the dark front room (Living room, dining room, kitchen), and turned on the light. Oliver was in the middle of the kitchen, sitting there. Doing nothing. Too weird.

So my brother called me the next morning and said that he had something very strange happen to him in the middle of the night. I told him that I had a creepy encounter as well, and told him my story. He went on to say that at 3:30 am, he was woken up by a HUGE bang that came from inside the house. His dog got up also, who sleeps through anything. So, he has an alarm system, which was on. He turned it off and left his bedroom to investigate.

Nothing.

My first through was that a deer may have accidently hit the house. He walked around the house after work and didn't see anything amiss.

THEN, I talked to my aunt, who told me that on Tuesday, she noticed that there was light coming from her daughter's room. Her daughter is married and hasn't lived in the house for years, and neither my aunt nor uncle have cause to go into their daughter's room. She went in and the two lamps, one on either side of the bed, were on. They are touch lamps, each plugged into separate outlets, and each were turned up to the THIRD SETTING.

So, three creepy occurances, all within 24 hours of each other, from members of the same family.

I guess we are a spooky family. Or spooks like us.

Makes life interesting, that is for sure.

Talk is cheap

So I get a call this afternoon, and I was thinking it was one of the tox docs returning my call to set up the interview for the new blog. Nope, it was someone calling from my bank who wanted to discuss a new Identity Theft program they have and if I would like to join. And it was from a 314 area code number.

Right. My bank NEVER calls me. I get emails and snail mail, never a phone call.

So my guard is immediately up.

I tell the caller that I would like to join, but feel more comfortable dropping into my brand to talk to a representative face to face. The caller says that's fine, wished me a good day and hangs up.

I immediately call my bank and tell them the story. They confirm that they are calling their customers about the new service. I ask if they were sending out mail or email - they said they sent out mail.

I didn't get the mailing - if I had, I wouldn't have been so suspicious.

However, this really irks me. I feel like they are getting desperate to resort to calling their customers, especially when it's about IDENTITY THEFT. And they are taking up my minutes.

They send me emails all the time. I also receive mail every once in awhile. Both forms of communication are traceable and verifiable and more than fine with me. I rarely give out any personal information via phone, unless I've made the call and confirm it's the right destination.

I am less than pleased with my bank at the moment - the reason I chose this bank years and years ago was that it didn't go through a buyout. I bank at another institution (got a giftcard for signing up through my former employer) and might consider consolidating my accounts into one - probably the latter and not the former.

Could not resist

I love my dog more than, well, pretty much anything. He is an amazing little being, and I cannot imagine my life without him, or how I existed before him.

So, I saw this video during a search this morning and thought I would post it for anyone out there thinking of adopting a pet.

It doesn't matter if you don't have a yard, or work 10 hours a day. They won't mind. What they will mind, however, is living in a cage 23 1/2 hours a day, waiting to die.

Suhprise Suhprise Suhprise!

So, I got up extra early today so that I could use the gym downstairs and lift so that when I got to my Y, I could just spin and come home.

I got up at 4:15, dressed for the gym, hooked up the pooch and walked him to the elevator. Huh - the elevator was already in use. Wierd. It was so early, I didn't think anyone got up at that time but me.

Oh well, whatever. So I wait for the elevator to pass my floor and go up to 6, whoever was on it got off at their stop, and then the elevator came back down to me on 5.

OMGIATU.

As the elevator doors opened, the smell hit me first. And it hit Oliver also, because he would NOT go into the elevator, I had to pick him up and hold him (which I would have done because of what was on the floor).

Two rather large STEAMING piles of poo.

Dog poo. (I think)

Seriously.

So I help my breath the 5 floors it took to get to the lobby, ran out, pottied the boy, and got back into the shitbox for a quick ride up to my floor.

I then, fed the boy, and left about 2 minutes later to hit the gym.

The poo was still there.

Really? I mean, come on.

So I go down to the gym, work out, and head out to my car at 5:00 so that I can make it to spinning.

I get back from the gym at 6:30.

Yup. It's still a poo factory in the elevator.

WTH.

So I go upstairs, get ready for work, and take the boy out one last time.

The poo is now gone, but it still stinks. I don't believe the culprit's owner(s) did anything but pick it up - no dissinfecting, nothing to mask the smell.

I ran into the maintenance man who was just getting to work and let him know about the situation. After running Oliver up to the loft and taking my final trip down in the elevator, I noticed the nice fragrance of Mr. Clean.

Thank you, Maintenance Man.

And to the owner's of the dog who couldn't hold it (and I know who they are, there are not many people in my building and only one resident on 6 who owns a dog), I say...

...karma is a bitch.

Weekend in review

It was a busy weekend. Fun? Some of it.

If you read my former post, you'll know that I went to see "Paranormal Activity" on Friday night. Very decent. Wings and frosty beverages post-movie made it easier to sleep.

Saturday I woke up super crabby. No, it's not PMS per se, more like a 24-hour bug. I am super pissy for about a day - I don't want to see anyone, or talk to anyone, and god help you if you get in my way on that day. So I had some plans that day and could not back out (they were my plans) so I sucked it up as best I could and plowed through.

Went to the Boathouse for some wine, fire, and photos.

Then went out to my grammy's house for spider duty (thankfully all but three very large ones that resemble the Empire Strikes Back Walkers and felt the doom of my shoe soles).

Returned to Starbucks to exchance my crap in a cup for the Chai Tea Latte that I had originally ordered. They were nice about it but damn, can't a girl catch a break?

Stopped off to run a couple errands in the county as the city has little to offer in the ways of actual stores.

Got home, exhauseted and sick of seeing people, and settled in to my cozy home. Lit some candles, set up my DVR to record some spook shows, and got a call to meet friends down at El Borracho. Shit. Well, it's around the corner from my house, how could I say no? It ended up being fun because I was drinking the best margarita's in a 6 block radius from my house and the music was loud and fiesty.

Sunday my brother came over and we walked the 15 blocks to the dome to see the Rams suck it. We left in the first part of the 4th quarter to hightail it over to Thips for some Thai food, then went Walmarting and headed back to the crib.

Sunday night was delicious - all coziness and comfort, a nice end to a 50/50 weekend.

Monday morning was a completely different story...stay tuned...

Movie Review

Paranormal Activity

Rating: Worth It

This has been hyped as the "scariest movie ever made". I wouldn't call it that, but I would definitely call it frightening.

I went to see it last night, after I had accidentally read the ending on a review blog. I thought I had prepared myself sufficiently to get through it.

Um, nope.

There were a couple scenes that I had to turn my head away because I knew if I watched them, I would not sleep.

The other theater-goers were scared also - lots of shrieks and nervous laughter. That made the experience all the more fun. Plus, people left the movie halfway through - it was hard to take sometimes.

I did find that watching with your eyes squinted and your fingers in your ears muting the sound was an effective way of dealing with all the boos.

Because it's filmed with a hand-help and told from POV it's constantly compared to the Blair Witch project. I do not stand by that comparison. Have you ever watched those shows on TV where ghost hunters leave a camera on for hours, and then they catch spooky stuff happening that's unexplainable? Well, this is what happens in the movie. And it's pretty good shit.

That said, I am going to now tell you about some of the scariest scenes in case you want to see the movie but don't want to "protect" yourself from a sleepless night.

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1. The Ouija Board - this scene is scary because no one is in the house when it starts to go bonkers. And then catches on fire. The entire theater screamed at this one.

2. Katie standing by the bed looking at her boyfriend for over an hour in the middle of the night. It's just damn creepy, and happens more than once. Because you get to thinking at this point, is it Katie or some demon?

3. Katie being pulled out of bed, legs first, by an invisible force and dragged out of the bedroom. It's one of the weirdest and creepiest things I've ever seen - I think what makes it so creepy is that it looks REAL.

4. The ending - since I had already read about this, I decided not to watch it. Good thing - again, the entire theater jumped out of their pants.

SPOILER ALERT! ALTERNATE ENDING BELOW!!!

Burnt out

Trying not to dwell on things, but I think I am in the middle of a burnout.

My classes this semester aren't more taxing than previous semesters. This summer really sucked a lot of joy out of school for me - the 5 hour long classes, intense.

I'm sure it's not just school - there are other factors in my life that are causing stress, and while I know they are out of my control, that doesn't stop me from worrying about people that I love.

So I guess it's finding that balance I had earlier this year, letting some things go, and remembering the good, on an hourly basis.

Wow, what a blah entry. I'll try to make my next post fun.

Spooky Stuff

It's that time of year - my favorite time of year. Fall, leaves, wine...and spookfesty stuff.

This blog that I follow listed the 7 horror movie themes, and it reminded me of an interested trailer for "House Of The Devil" I saw this morning while shoveling down my Wheaties. Initially, it reminded me of a Dario Argento movie I saw, it looks to possess the same witchy-devil-cultish feel to it. It's supposed to take place in the 80's, and I'm guessing the creator is reaching back to that nostalgic feel of that time, when special effects weren't great but the storyline and characters were.

I'm hoping they pull it off - Rob Zombie succeeded (in my opinion) with the Halloween remakes.

Still undecided about seeing Paranormal Activity this Friday...maybe too spooky, even for me.

Check out "House Of The Devil". I will be there opening night.

Dilemmas, whine poetic, happenstance

Just some random thoughts, leaning towards the non-positive or neutral arena:

- I like my long hair, unless I have to dry it. Then it becomes the mane/bane of my existence. Big whine. Cut it off, you say - right....

- The Rams suck, but I'm still waiting to hear about whether I have tickets to this Sunday's game. Yes, I want to go - even though they'll probably lose, there's nothing like watching sports live. Whine.

- This weekend is my OFFICIAL FUN FALL WEEKEND. This includes the winery, photography, pumpkin picking and football (see item #2). This weekend is the last really outdoor-fun weekend until after the holidays because of non-fun commitments and really cold weather, and is also a celebration of me kicking ass on my midterms. However, I think I feel a cold coming on. There might be a dilemma in the making...

- Since I have somewhat perfected the art of sleeping in on Sundays, this makes Mondays and Tuesdays very difficult. I am not sure what the remedy is here - it's really putting a damper on my a.m. workouts...give up a little slice of heaven, or fight through the blur. Substantial dilemma.

- I like bananas. And I like coconut. But when you put them together in a drink it tastes like suntan lotion. Not really a dilemma, more of a whine.
Plus, the packaging is inviting, making it difficult not to partake.

- I heard the nastiest rumor - Lou Reed may be retiring from playing out live. Since seeing him live is #2 on my dirtnap list, this is a great dilemma.

- I am supposed to see "Paranormal Activity" on Friday night. This movie looks realistically scary. My dilemma? Reschedule for a matinee? When I see a scary movie during the afternoon I enjoy it just as much as if I'd seen it at night, and by the time night rolls around I'm not really scared anymore.

- I was listening to messages on my iPhone, miss-tapped and accidentally called a friend from my address book. When I realized my mistake I believe he had picked up already but I was too slow to stop myself from hanging up. He called back immediately, I apologized, he laughed, and we had a nice quick talk. Since he was just catching a flight back to St. Louis, we will officially catch up tonight. Random happenstance, in the best way.


Enjoy...

Forgiveness

Forgiveness can be a powerful thing.

It can provide relief, a way out, hope for a better life.

Forgiveness is kindness. Forgiveness is empowering. Forgiveness is humbling.

Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness - it's the ultimate strength. To forgive someone their shortcomings, their faults, their dishonorable acts is to say that you understand human frailty, and that you won't let it keep you down.

It can also provide the forgiver with a path back to love. Whether it's with the person they are forgiving or with someone new, it lays out a clear and freeing way towards a better day.

It's a terrible thing to be wronged by someone. It makes you question your judgement, your worth. Being wronged was usually not done on purpose - it's a crack in the other person's character, and has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. But in those hellish hours and days of pain, you can't see past the hurt to realize it's them and not you.

At first you want to hurt back - make them pay. That's a natural reaction, and not entirely a bad one. It's part of the healing process. But dwelling here isn't good for anyone. Keep going, and get this stage behind you.

To move forward with a positive mindset is the result of forgiveness. To open yourself up to the good is the result of forgiveness.

To be able to forgive someone who has wronged you is difficult - it tests your resolve. It's an admittance that you put trust in an individual, in people, and that trust was broken, but that you will be open to trust again.

Forgiveness is the first step in moving on and moving forward.

Forgiveness is a good thing, if you can get there.

Weekend

This weekend - fun fun fun.

Movie with my bruder tonight. Soulard & Tower Grove farmer's marketing, a pot'o'chili for lunch with friends, then on to a blogging seminar and fashion event on Saturday.

Sunday? As always, reserved for studying, spinning and football. Oh, and that luscious, heavenly sleeping in.

I am always upgrading my bed to make sure it's a toasty and cuddle-worthy. I now own the fluffiest pillows known to man. And they are covered in flannel.

Beat that!

We interrupt this program...

My midterm went swimmingly, but my presentation hit a speedbump.

I was on a roll. Doing well. I was feeling pretty darn good, considering I had written the three page presentation and prepared in less than 2 hours (because I plum forgot).

And then....my prof interrupts me.

I answered her question, but COULD NOT recover.

What the dell?

I am not bad at presentations - I just don't like them. But this was a new development - not being able to pick up where I left off.

I guess the interruption was so jarring, it rattled my brain but good. Enough to make me lose my place, and skip DIRECTLY to the conclusion.

I walked back to my seat and proceeded to beat myself up (and my prof a bit) in my head for the next hour.

I guess it showed on my face, because my professor came over after class and apologized and told me what a great presentation it was. She interrupted me because she had missed something I said earlier about the psychosocial level, and she needed that information in order to grade the rest of the presentation.

It happens. I felt a little better after the apology, but not much. Actually cried tears of frustration all the way home.

I woke up at 11:30 last night to my phone dinging me, telling me I had an email. I checked it out, and it was another apology from my professor. Not needed at this point, but it was nice to get.

I feel better today, but at some point I need to review how I got so discombobulated and figure out a way to prevent that from happening again.

Rockin the 80's 'do

I remember feathered hair.

It was so much fun to do.

Flip back the brush while you were blowdrying. Achieve the perfect "feathered" look.

Spritz. Shake. Hold. Done.

Midterm purgatory

This is where I live at the moment.

Yes, it's by choice. And yes, I'm glad I have the opportunity to further my education.

But I just want to lay in my toasty bed of flannel sheets (thanks again mom), fluffy pillows and fantastic down comforter and watch a movie - preferably something spooky/funny, such as Evil Dead 2 or Horror House (one of the worst British 1960's horror movies ever made...so bad it's good).

But, I cannot partake in the loveliness that is my bed, as I am relegated to this computer until my essays are completed.

However, I will be a happy girl come Monday at 10:00, as this will end my stay in purgatory and I can move on to preparing for my weekend of wine, woodland creatures and win-free Rams.

Oh, and of late, I have embraced the art of sleeping in. I am getting really, really good at it. Double-digit good. I figure I deserve lazy Sunday mornings, especially after getting up at 4:30 a.m. during the week.

Word to ya mother.

Tude

Yo beeches...I'm back.

Have been so bogged down as of late, but that's not really a viable excuse for not writing. I've found time to see some good movies, some really bad movies, and some really, really good bad movies. And shop. And hang with friends. And check out new music.

So, I've basically been a slagger (blog slacker).

That said, here are a few morsels to get me going again.

- went shopping last weekend with my friend Cin. We started off by having lunch at Cooperella in Maplewood (delish), and then hit up a few boutiques on the main Manchester drag. We spent a good 10 minutes perusing the jewelry section of a tiny little shop (no, not Femme, but close). I found a little necklace that was Cin's style, she loved it, and even better, loved the price tag ($4). Now, most of the jewelry was around $35-$75, but there were some clearance items so we had every right to assume that the necklace was priced correctly.

Sadly this was not the case, as we found out when Cin was checking out.

But what was even more sad was the ATTITUDE (capitalized because it was total 'tude) that was spewed in Cin's direction when she went to pay for the necklace. The exchange goes something like this...

Stuck-up Shop Owner (SUSO): "Are you ready to go?"

Cin: "Yes, I'll take this."

SUSO: "Alright." (Takes the necklace, fumbles around for the price tag, keys it in, looks puzzled. Frowns.)

SUSO: "Honey? Can you come over here for a minute? Something doesn't look right." (She calls over her daughter, who works at/owns the store...daughter walks over, stares at the tag)

Daughter of SUSO (DOSUSO): "Oh, I marked it wrong. Ha ha." (ditz)

SUSO: (Turning to my friend Cin) "You do know this is $40, right? Nothing from this designer would ever sell below $40." (SAID WITH COMPLETE ATTITUDE)

Cin: "Um, know, I didn't know it was $40, because it's marked as $4."

SUSO: "Well, would you still like it?"

Cin: "Well, no. Not if it's $40."

In my opinion, they should have cut her a deal. The necklace wasn't expert craftmanship, it was more kitchsy than anything - not worth $40 in my opinion. But to speak to Cin like that, as if she should have KNOWN that it was $40. Seriously. I will not be shopping there again.

I am surprised they are still in business. I was in the shop 3 weeks ago with a different friend, and I didn't see that much inventory had moved since then.

Concerts of interest

Jim Rose/Revolting Cocks - Firebird tonight: Get up close and personal at this cozy venue

Neko Case - Pageant 11/5: Songbird, sing to me

Son Volt - Pageant 11/6: Takes me back to my college years

Rob Zombie - Pageant 11/15: Love his movies, like his music

Headlights - Firebird 11/21: Nice little pop outfit, they rocked it at Pygmalion

Swell Season - Pageant 12/4: Once, I would like to see Glenn Hansard play live

Time does fly

The last two weeks were very eventful. Some key items include:

- I accepted a job offer which had been in the works for some time, and I'm still pinching myself. I won't really believe it until I sit down at my new desk.

- I went apple picking for the first time. Loads of juicy fun.

- this PhD process is looming...I need to get on the ball.

- back to spinning. Oh, how I've missed ya.

I haven't made time to write lately since the weather has been so spectacular. I am in love with life in October. Went to the Shaw Art Fair this weekend, got inspired. Took more photos outdoors - the leaves are getting there, not quite yet, but in two weeks all will be right in my world.

Camping is tentatively on the agenda for next weekend, followed by the annual winery trip, and then Halloween. Seattle in November - cannot wait for that trip.

Life is good.

I'll Get You, My Pretty...

Jeebus. This scares me.

I had finished some shopping, and was attempting to navigate the parking lot and this THING jumps out at me.

Effin flying monkey.

Not much scares me.

Monkeys scare me.

People dressed up as monkeys? Way scarier.

This thing HOPPED, yes hopped, over to my car.

I had to snap a pic.

Bring on the nightmares....

140.6

Jeff finishing the Ford Ironman in Wisconsin this past Sunday.

Total Time: 13:06:41
107 out of 249 in his division (M45-49)
1038 out of 2397 participants

Oh, the stamina!!!

Who's the man?? :-)

Catholic Boy

Jim Carroll - a punk, a poet, a writer, a singer. Best known by the masses as the author of The Basketball Diaries.

He died this past Friday. Somehow, this news passed me by until last night.

Enjoy this poetry reading with Jim and Bukowski...


I salute you, brother...

The Bad, The Good

I saw the movie Whiteout.

Trash. Waste. Bummed me out.

The first three minutes are extreme close-ups devoted to watching Kate Beckinsale undress and shower. In a cheesy,9th grader kinda way. Not stylistic at all. So, that kinda set the tone, and it never did get good.

Didn't stay to see the ending...it was so bad. Walked out at the 65 minute mark. Snuck in to see the end of 9. That looked good.

SPOILER: It's not a horror movie. It's about a Russian cargo plane that crashed during the Cold War and it had some kind of nuclear weapon on board that the government is looking for. Yup. Just a mystery, a killer, snow, and Tom Skerrit.

Now, I like Tom Skerrit a lot. I could watch that craggy old face recite the dictionary. Too bad he got talked into making this movie.

In one scene, Kate's left pinky and ring finger are frostbit, and Tom has to remove them before they get gangrenous. Do they show him snapping off the fingers? NO. You just hear the sound. I think I paid good money for some special effects...but no, all we get is sound.

Lame.

I feel I must redeem myself by talking up one of my FAVORITE movies.

Reprise, is a wonderful little Norwegian film about two good friends who are aspiring writers that submit their manuscripts on the same day. They both get published, but one friend fares better than the other.

Not to give too much away, the movie is an examination of friendship, learning to live up to your own expectations and not others, and finding your way.

It's got a great soundtrack, interesting filming and audio techniques and it's unformulaic.

I just #1'd it in my Netflix queue. If you're looking for a treat, do the same.

Clever commercial

Go Dokken Go...

Technology + water = death

My Treo died over the holiday weekend.

It got wet. I will not go into details. Imagine what you will.

So, I've lost all of my appointments. All of my phone numbers. All of my text messages.

Basically, I've lost my mind.

I've lost will to live.

I've lost the ability to be on time, to any function I agreed to attend, once upon a time.

No. I obviously did not back it up, sync it up. Der.

So, I guess it's time to move onward, and upward.

Goodbye, dear friend, dear Treo. You've served me well. I will never forget you...

Hello, iPhone 3G. Hello sanity.