Higher plane

Okay, here's the thing.

Every once in a while, and not as much as I'd like, I get this overwhelming feeling.

It's floaty and grounding at the same time.

It's so overwhelming, it makes me want to drop to my knees and thank who/whatever is responsible for this life of mine.

It's a feeling of exhaultation, of supreme happiness, and I want to embrace the closest thing to me at that very moment. Today it was a steering wheel. Good thing.

This feeling, it makes me want to drive off the highway and fly through the clear air and float on the breeze. Not in a suicidal kind of way, just in a freeing kind of way.

It makes me want to walk up to a stranger, and tell them that their place in this world is felt, it's appreciated, it's important to my existence.

It makes me want to throw back my head, howl at the sky with a wide smile, teeth barred and eyes open.

It makes me want to run - full-out run, create my own wind, suck in the air in great gulps, reach forward with my arms and hands to grab the space before me, and try to catch the future.

I love it when that feeling hits me. It's never preceeded by anything in particular, there's no pattern I can discern. When it hits, it's solid and tangible. And incredibly intoxicating.

So I still had this feeling when I got home. I still had this feeling after I fed and watered the dog.

So I ran.

And the feeling lasted a good, long while.

And it was lovely.

I have since come down, and am enjoying the afterglow - metaphysically and metaphorically. I'm sweaty. I'm spent. And I'm living.

After a rather heady day at work, it was perfect.

Quatrain for a day of rain

I'm so close to you that I'm far apart,

So completely merged that I'm separate,

So vastly exposed that I'm concealed,

So whole and sound that I'll never be healed.

-Rumi

Happy Birthday Jeff!!!

It's my brother Jeff's birthday.

He's old.

Seriously, old.

Actually, since he's only a year younger than me, I can't really call him old, because that would be calling myself old. And I am not...Old.

Here are a few random facts about Jeffy...

My brother:

-is handy with a scalpel
- worships Metallica - and Barry Manilow. Yes, my brother is a complex man.
- tolerated my pinching, pushing and murder attempts from ages 1-5
- loves Taco Johns, like any good North Dakotan
- once knew Glenda the Good Witch
- plays a mean trumpet
- was in Jazz Band, Student Government, Track, Theater, Speech Team, Varsity Band, Concert Band, etc. etc.
- has no hair, partly by choice, partly by genes
- hosts Burger House many times a year - yum!
- taught and encourages my grandma to swear like a sailor
- greets me with a random kick or punch, as I do him (we will forever be 8 yrs old)
- meows when he answers the phone
- operated on insurgents in Iraq, and is a BADASS
- is an accomplished orthopaedic surgeon, and works for SLU
- would do anything for his family, and on many occasions has done so
- drives the biggest, baddest black truck (even though it's currently undergoing major surgery at an area dealership because Jeff is a BADASS)
- started the Dirty Santa trend
- worked at Bonanza, starting as a busser and working his way up to head of the grill
- just rocks.

Jeff is amazing. I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful brother. While growing up, we fought. A lot. But we grew out of that, and I'm glad he lives here now, because now that we do get along and like each other, I would miss him if he wasn't close by.

Below is one of his favorite songs. Jeff, this one's for you.

Sizzle

Summer's here. Officially.

Good times.

Did not run this morning, opted instead to swim. Caught up with a few pool pals who were doing their final long swim before their tri's next weekend. They're ready. Since they are bricking, after their swim they would be getting on their bikes for a long ride. Kudos to them, because riding in this heat is difficult, especially practicing their hills.

Finished up there, then went home and spent an hour in the pool outside.

Getting ready to spend the afternoon with family. It's my Aunt Deb and Uncle Eric's 30th anniversary. Their story is a sweet one - they met in college, had a date, it didn't go well, had a second date, that one went very well, and six months later they were married. They did a great job raising two beautiful and accomplished daughters that are a joy to be around, and are still best friends after so many years. Every couple should be as lucky as they are.

My aunt is a fantastic cook, and at this very minute she's making dinner for all of us to enjoy before we head off to hear her daughter sing in the Big Band. Yup, she's cooking on her own anniversary. That's how she rolls.

It's going to be a great evening.

Bird attack and other lame situations

So a bird attacked me while I was walking to my car.

LAME.

I apparently parked next to a tiny tree that was housing baby birds. I felt something hit my shoulderblade, turned around and nothing. Walked up to my car, and there is an angry bird sitting on the roof. My neighbor said it happened to him the other day, and came over to help me scare the psycobird away so I could get in my car without further injury.

Other lame news - the summer of music appears to be over. Knew it was too good to last. It comes in waves. Not sure why. I don't get my hopes up anymore - just along for the ride. I've missed so many concert...

Final lame news, any position that's billed as "Temporary" with pre-determined dates lends itself to chance. August to December? Reeeeallly?? We'll see.....

Weekend Playlist 7/31/09

Throwing Muses
PJ Harvey
Blur
Pylon
Now It's Overhead
Billy Bragg
Joao Bosco
Split Enz
The Kinks (love me some Kinks)

Overheard some 2 Live Crew while driving in my 'hood, so I guess I'll count that, too.

Why is it already Sunday night? Okay, I'll stop complaining.

Random

- up and ready to hit Forest Park for a run after 3 1/2 hours of sleep. I am superwoman.

- million dollar idea: patent a clock for dogs that they can read and understand, so that they don't unnecessarily wake up their owners. I have a personal stake in this.

- I'm recognizing a baby-naming trend in friends and colleagues, which is going the old-fashioned route than the way of "Apple" or "CoCo": names like Oscar, Bartholemew, Agnes, Lucille, Alice, Eleanor, Alba and Vlad. I like.

- there is something to be said about closing down a bar. There is also something to be said about sleeping.

- my forks are disappearing. Perhaps they are joining the socks in the Land of Missing Necessities...

- there are shoes for walking, shoes for running, shoes for hiking, and shoes for standing there looking pretty. Never mistake the latter for any of the former.

- yes, Tesla is a great band and listening to their music can bring about a state of euphoria. But really only in the right context (after much alcohol while reminiscing of high-school days) Kidding. They are a great live band.

- if you insist on drinking certain brands of beer with sliced fruit, having the right pick-up line is a moot point. You're scoreless.

- just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you have to change your status on Facebook. Right to privacy...

- put "rub" behind any body part, and it's golden.

- men who like panty lines also wear loafers without socks.

- the Barbie look is back. If you've got the goods, I say "work it".

- Volcom, Etnies, Vans, Circa, DC...skater shoes rock.

- life is short. I am reminded of this everyday, in different ways. I am heeding the signs.

- forgiveness is sometimes better than regret. Regret is sometimes better than apathy. And apathy is sometimes better than forgiveness. Circle of life.