Thoughts

So.

Another Hollywood child actor OD'd.

Growing up, I thought Corey Haim was totally cute. "The Lost Boys" was one of my favorite films. "Drean A Little Dream" was not.

Sad that it had to end this way. Kinda saw it coming when he appeared on the reality show "The Two Corey's".

One of my best childhood friends is a drug addict. I would describe her situation as severe. It's gotten to a point, over the last couple of years, that when her husband calls me, I expect to hear that she's died. OD'd. Wrecked her car. She's already done both in the past, so it would be a not-surprising bit of news to get.

It's beyond weird to have a friend, and such an old and dear friend, who is an addict. And it sucks.

I've gone through the stages - denial, anger, bargaining, sadness. I am at the point where I accept her current state - there's nothing I can do. She has to want to make the change for herself.

But at this point, I doubt she can. So many years of drug abuse have altered her brain chemistry - she is not the same person I once knew, and her personality, decision-making ability and character have changed dramatically. When I went to visit her a couple of years ago, it was very evident that the sweet-natured, resplendent soul that helped get me through my turbulent teen years was missing. She had turned into a figidity, doped-up mess.

There's no going back for her - she can either stop what she's doing and live in her present state of mind, or continue to get worse.

I've accepted the fact that she's probably not going to make it - I'm actually very surprised that she's still living at all, considering the damage she does to herself and the chaos that rules her life. But I can't say I want to see her again - it was really difficult the last time, and I'm not sure I want that present in my life.

But, I care about her and love her because even though she is a different person now, to me she will always be my friend.