When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning....uphill...barefoot...in 2 feet of snow.
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it.
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of 35, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. They've got it so easy. And their sense of entitlement is ripe. I mean, compared to my childhood, they live in a damn Utopia.
1) When I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog. The paper cuts were fierce....
2) There was no email. We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen. Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there. Stamps were 10 cents.
3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass. Nowhere was safe. Which meant you usually behaved.
4) There were no MP3's or iTunes. If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself. Try sticking a record down your pants - it ain't comfortable.
5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up. There were no CD players. We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby. Dig? But, we made AWESOME mixed tapes. Good times.
6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting. If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it.
7) Of course, no cell phones either. If you left the house, you were just out of touch. Oh the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7. And then there's TEXTING.
8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either. When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was. It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know. You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister.
9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics. We had the Atari 2600. With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids' and 'Pitfall'. And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever. And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died. Just like LIFE!
10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on. You were screwed when it came to channel surfing. You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel. NO REMOTES!!! It was a workout...
11) There was no Cartoon Network either. You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons. But they were good (Smurfs, He-Man, Wonder Twins, Mr. Magoo).
12) We didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove. Imagine that!
13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. So we did - got on our bikes and disappeared until we needed food. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!
14) Car seats? - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place.
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