Look What The Cat Dragged In...

Rock of Love is my guilty pleasure. I believe it's also the guilty pleasure of many of my gal pals, whether they'd admit to it or not (you know who you are).

Why do we watch? It's certainly not for Bret - umm, I did lust you in 1987, but 22 years later I believe I've got better taste in my rockers, and men. We watch it for the women. They're trashy, funny, pathetic, outrageous, creative and look like they're living in 1987. Good fun. Plus (and correct me if I'm wrong, gals) I believe that most of us ladies have wanted to let loose and look as whorey-good as some of these women do, at least once in our lives. Maybe some of us have, and can relate. :-)

This season is high-larious as the show is schlepping the girls on a cross-country tour with Bret to watch him dazzle the fair maidens with his do-rag sporting, Euro-trash weave wearing, purse-my-lips-I-am-whistlin pout as he manages to wear more makeup than the average woman and play the same damn "new" song over and over as if it's the next big hit. Trust me Mr. Michaels - it's not.

These latest ladies are no less of a trainwreck than Season 1 or 2, and just as slutastic. Makes for a great laugh on Sunday nights, and good watercooler talk come Monday morning.

There have been Rock Of Love drinking games created for the first two seasons, and here is the newest edition for the Rock Of Love Bus:

Take a drink every time:

-You think to yourself, "What was Brittanya thinking?" in terms of her tats and dimple piercings.

-Bret's "hair" looks better than your own.

-Beverly dresses like a guy (generic tank tops, hockey jersey, anything that doesn't show cleavage).

-Beverly rolls her eyes.

-Beverly turns into a prude.

-Farrah scares you with her Amazon ways and man voice.

-Farrah makes you laugh because she's got wisdom, she's got wit.

-Bret "has doubts".

-Bret is strumming his guitar.

-Bret is writing lyrics (hahahahahaha).

-Bret purses his lips and gets all sleepy-eyed.

-Bret talks about his diabetes.

-Bret explains that on the tour, there will be lots of women, so whoever is with him will basically have to be okay with that (i.e., share).

-Bret kisses anyone.

-Ashley gets drunk.

-Ashley goes after another girl.

-Ashley is sporting bad extensions (basically, every episode)

-Taya talks about being Penthouse Pet of the Year.

-Taya denies she is or ever was a stripper.

-Someone gets a drink thrown at them.

-Someone goes on about how they're "here for Bret".

-Ashley yells at someone.

-Someone claims to love Bret, even though they just met him.

-Someone needs to speak with Bret "right away", and gets escorted to see him by Big John.

-Big John yells at the girls for being slutty and whorey.

-You think Big John is rocking that mullet, and you can overlook his moobs (man boobs).

-You wish that Bret would accidentally lose the hat/do-rag so that we can get a look at what's really underneath the facade.

-Bret says variations of "Rock my world", "Life on the road...." or "I think you're a sexy/special/talented/hot girl..."

-Bret gets mad (two drinks, because it's funny and sad)

-Bret says that his decision was "difficult" (two drinks, because he's lying and he's a douche)

Since many of the above things are said or happen in the first 15 minutes of any episode of Rock of Love Bus, we suggest you play with a very light beer only, as alcohol poisoning isn't fun.